The Male Client
by ilurrrverussia
Summary: As Renge is the manager of the Host Club, Kyoya becomes jealous and plans to take over. When a new client comes along, Kyoya finds his weapon to succeed. Just as hope seems gone, Kyoya wins the battle. So why did Renge give in?
1. The Male Prologue

**Okay, so this is the prologue. It's going to be short and sweet so you all know where the first chapter begins. It may not make sense now but it will when you read the other chapters. Thanks!**

**I actually want to say that I'm proud of this. I normally hate everything I do but I actually like this. Please don't be put off by the use of an OC- he's nothing but a device. In fact there's a chapter where he's not even seen. It's how the Hosts, Ritsu, Renge and Umehito react to him and his ordeal….**

The last day of autumn had dispersed by this matter of time. The first day of winter had finally snuck up from behind, happy to finally bring its darkness to the world. Nature was still reminiscing from autumn and so the leaves from the trees were still there. But winter had blew the leaves away from their neat piles and scattered them all to the cherry path. Thankfully most of the clients had decided to leave using the front gate, where winter had already started cleaning up autumn's jolly mess with death.

The new season had also changed the sky. The sky was now a royal blue, the full moon now watching the world below in horror. Some of the stars peeked through to see why the moon was so upset but most the stars decided against it.

In deep contrast the interior of Ouran Academy were gleaming with joy. The female clients were lined up along the corridor that lead to Music Room Three. Their yellow dresses floated above the ground as they all waited in eager anticipation for the host club to open the door.

"Hooray! It's Neko-Day!" Honey grinned gleefully whilst Mori tried to get him to sit still.

"We know, Honey, we know." The twins sighed in reply, fixing their cat ears into place.

"I thought you two liked Neko-Day?" Haruhi asked curiously. The commoner was now a brown tabby cat, wearing an oversized cat onesie with the tail and ears as well. She was silently grateful for this costume as it was nice and warm.

"Yeah but it's a bit of a naff day." The twins complained again, fixing their ginger ears on. They decided not to wear onesies but orange tank tops and jeans. This made a very excited Honey very angry.

"You're not real cats!" Honey huffed, wagging his little fingers at them. Ceasing the opportunity, Mori put the cat ears on Honey whilst he was distracted.

"Is everyone ready now?" Tamaki purred like the luxurious Persian he had always wanted to be.

"No. We need to wait for Renge." Kyoya growled. The prince of darkness was now a black cat. He too ignored Honey and wore a black shirt and jeans.

The twins fixed their tails and rehearsed their lines. Haruhi finished setting up the extra furniture. Mori had successfully dressed Honey and was going to get changed himself when Honey looked up at him.

"Today's Neko Day!" He said with the genuine excitement of a child, hugging his Use-chan whom was also dressed in a cat onesie.

"I know, Mitsukunni."

"So that boy has to choose which host he wants, right?"

All of the hosts turned towards Honey, for he had said what none of them wanted to hear.

"I hope he chooses Tamaki," Hikaru commented, "I hope so much he doesn't pick us."

"I hope he doesn't pick me." Kyoya stated bluntly.

"I actually quite liked hosting for him." Tamaki shrugged.

"Me too." Haruhi pitched in.

"Well, I LOVED hosting for him!" Honey shouted ecstatically, "And so did Takashi!"

Mori stared at him, his eyes now uncharacteristically wide.

"You will go and check he's in the queue, right Takashi?"

The tallest host, wearing a black and white cat onesie, shook his head.

Then one of our story's plot twists happened. The bulbs sparked simultaneously until the music room had been shrouded in darkness. Ritsu walked in as a red cat (Honey's idea) and opened the curtain out of reflex. He would never know that the reflex was nature's way of allowing the moon to watch the plot unravel. The hosts stood in silence, allowing themselves to rest. The feeling light had gone to allow the lenient darkness sink its teeth into their hearts. Nekozawa came in and padded his way to the window. He watched the world outside with no excuse as to what he was doing.

Then Renge busted into the room like a typhoon…

**Lel. This is suckish. You see I wrote six chapters before this because I realised that the first chapter is confusing if I don't do this little bit.**


	2. The Male Freak

**The beginning of the chapters skip to the end of our story, then it does a flash back to their appointment with the male client and then skips back to the end for the chapter's conclusion. I have took some artist licence and fiddled and exaggerated. Also you find things out very slowly when it comes to the OC. But (hopefully) it will be worth it. **

**Each chapter follows one of the characters but in third person. But as characters often do not know the whole picture, do not trust the whole narrative. All shall be revealed!**

**I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. I do apologise for my errors, making up new words and being very melodramatic.**

The shadows lingered all over Music Room 3. They crawled up the walls; they danced on the ceiling; they flung themselves all over the furniture. They draped themselves everywhere. The peach-coloured walls now mixed with the royal blue sky outside to create a depressing purple. The shadows embraced the people in the room.

The majority of light that entered the room was the silver, soft light of the moon, which made everything in its path more elusive. This gentle lights teased the shadows away slightly. Due to this light, Kyoya could begin to approximate some of his friends' features. He could make out their silhouettes; their cat features also. The only person who was not hidden in the shadows was Nekozawa, whom the shadows cowered away from as the moon stroked his pale skin.

The second light entering the room was mostly by the door, which protected the figures in the room from the screaming mass of fans outside. It was the light from outside, a light from a different world completely. Everyone could hear the excited chatting and giggling from the army of yellow. The light could only peek in from underneath the door. It danced mockingly as the shadows outside moved.

Kyoya sighed heavily, feeling yet another tedious burden rear its ugly head.

"Kyoya," said the only silhouette without cat ears, "I want you to read this out."

Kyoya grabbed the settled air for whatever was concealed by the shadows. He felt the soft, chilling skin of Renge's hand and then moved towards her thumb to feel for what she wanted reading out. Paper.

Renge passed on the paper reluctantly, admitting defeat. In this bleak abyss of shadows, she surrendered to Kyoya. Immediately Kyoya took control. Firstly he was to rid of these treacherous shadows which endangered his new victory.

"Nekozawa, get the candles. Ten, one for each of us."

The boy with the longest blond hair nodded. He delicately padded into the shadows, unforced in their territory.

Kyoya groped his way around the room he was normally so familiar with. The shadows seemed to distort the images so that Honey looked like a chair.

Eventually Kyoya found a chair and sat directly under the moonlight. Now the hosts could see their new leader perfectly but he could not see them. They were merely shadows with heart beats.

Umehito handed everyone a candle, just as he was instructed. Kasanoda fumbled in his pockets for his lighter and sparked a flame to life. He rested the new flame onto his candle's wick. The two then merged to make a new flame, alarmingly safer than the flame on his lighter. He dampened his fingers with the saliva on his tongue and suffocated the life out of the elderly flame. Using the new source of light, he lit the wicks of the others' candles to create a nursery of flames, dancing around merrily and frightening the shadows further away, even though they were still part of the mass majority.

Now the flickering flames of the candles lit their faces, all of them ready for Neko-Day. The prince of darkness growled internally as he remembered that they were running late due to the power-out and Renge's outburst with the letter. Folding one long, nimble twig of a leg over the other on his throne, he scanned the letter in his possession.

This letter was another victory for him. Despite the frown on his face, internally he was grinning. It was one less worry on his shoulders. One less argument with the King. One less stain on the Host Club's reputation. One less freak.

He imagined the freak writing the letter, his brush artfully stroking the paper, every flick for effect. The dark boy could see the freak nodding proudly at himself, expecting the others to grieve over his sudden departure. Kyoya bit his lip to retain a giggle as he imagined the embarrassed expression on the freak's face if he had managed to tell him that, although he used the right characters, he used them in the wrong order.

Then he returned back to reality. Although this letter brought good news to Kyoya, as the freak was nothing but a nuisance and a creep to Kyoya, he remembered that the other hosts had their different opinions about him. Thus, he should try to act solemn to sympathise with those who will grieve for this loss whilst remaining calm and keeping authority. So, with a gentle but yet controlled tone in his voice, Kyoya read out the letter to his subjects.

* * *

It was near the start of the spring when the male client scurried into Kyoya's life.

The massacre from the winter's reign still scarred the landscape, the weather and the memories in the students' heads. But the winter's power had loosened its frosty grip as a few flowers resurrected from underneath the frosty glaze that held the grass. The sun sparkled timidly, scared as if the winter would return too soon. However none of this was noticed by the Host Club.

Sat at a table, Kyoya was not hosting like his comrades. No, he was calculating numbers and working out percentages. A hurricane after hurricane full of numbers whirled in his head. Tamaki's extravagance really was too much for him, this time. The account books were full of stupid, needless luxuries that only Tamaki and the Hitachi twins would think necessary. Kyoya sighed as he tapped in the newest set of numbers into his calculator. He read onwards in the account book to see if there was any good news to spear him on. It just so happened that there was. Despite Tamaki's and the Hitachi twins' massive costs, there was not many more. The female clients had been making Honey sweets, so many that the club did not need to buy any. Haruhi was like an unpaid maid, taking sheets home to wash and cleaning the club room up. The only costs left (excluding Tamaki's purchases) would be the costumes. They were hardly a problem, Renge often had some spare. All seemed a bit better now for Kyoya. He became eager to finish the calculations so he could plan for the next event: Neko-Day. So he plundered on, facing hurricane after hurricane, until a voice distracted him.

"Excuse me sir."

Kyoya first ignored the voice. He thought it was a fracture of his imagination. Mind tricks. His brain continued the Math-athon of numbers until the same voice interrupted him.

"Sir, excuse me, is this Host Club?"

Kyoya turned round. His dark eyes narrowed behind his glasses, looking the speaker up and down. It soon came apparent from the blue blazer that the speaker was a boy. Kyoya growled mentally. They often had males walk in, some causing arguments and disturbance as they came to find their girlfriends being fussed over. Others waltzed in to try and embarrass the Host Club by twirling their hair and puckering their lips at the Hosts. Many were kicked out; physically by Mori or orderly by the Prince of Evil himself. As his dark eyes examined the boy closely, Kyoya made judgements. Either this boy is a fantastic actor, Kyoya concluded, or he is looking for his girlfriend. Or perhaps he wanted to become a host. But then again, Kyoya added to his thought process, he is not the most attractive boy in school. He reminded Kyoya of when they first met Haruhi. The boy had scruffy, mousey brown hair that stuck up in any angle it desired. His clothes were too big for him, however, at least he could afford the uniform. His blue eyes tried to hide beneath his glasses, which slid half way down his nose every five seconds until the boy pushed them back up.

"Yes, this is the Host Club."

The boy pushed up his glasses once again as a blush rose to his round cheeks. He looked down at his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the taller boy, biting his lip as his brain worked.

"D-Do I walk in or does someone sit me down?"

Kyoya registered the boy's accent straight away. His Japanese was sloppy and his constant pauses in between words signified that he was not native. Kyoya's brain also registered his accent nuances. It obviously meant he was German. But the pattern of his voice also suggested that he was not just German. His pattern matched that of a Russian's. _So the boy is a Russian/German thing living in Japan, _Kyoya deducted. Kyoya also guessed that the boy was another mocker, just one that was very good at acting. _Better to knock him out whilst I'm ahead,_ Kyoya decided.

"You need to make reservations in advance. We're booked until next December." Kyoya's voice was flat and monotonous. Judging from the reading on his face, the boy bought the excuse. He hung his head even lower, his cheeks flushed more from embarrassment. The boy then bowed to Kyoya, mumbling a few apologies, before walking off to the door. Kyoya could not help but smile triumphantly to himself. Until that horribly familiar sound of an engine started. Kyoya watched as the boy jumped at Renge's arrival. He jumped even more when Renge stormed up to the two males.

"Why do you want a reservation, hmm? Are you trying to steal the secrets of our success?" Renge viciously poked the boy.

"Nyet, Miss, I- make a reservation."

Renge stormed up closer, so her face was just a breath away from his. The boy blinked in surprise, taking a step back, only to be confronted by Renge again. Now it was Renge's turn to scrutinise the boy. Her eyes looked him up and down, making more judgements, until she was satisfied. Unlike Kyoya, she was less suspicious.

"Kyoya, free some appointments for him." Renge turned around to Kyoya, her voice calm and yet demanding.

"But-"

"Kyoya," Renge hissed in Kyoya's ear, "Do you not see what an opportunity this is for the Club? As the manager of this club, I order you to free some reservations for him."

"Why?"

"Because, if he's here to be a guest, think of all the girls that would come!" Renge had that insane twinkle in her eyes. The same that she had every time she had an idea. The same twinkle that made Kyoya groan.

"You," Renge addressed to him, "Is there any particular host you want?"

"I... errrrr... Didn't... I-I don't mind." The Russian/German replied.

"How about you try each host, and choose which one you like?" Renge suggested to the new-comer. A bit like Kanako, Kyoya thought bitterly. He thought he had triumphed. He thought he had stopped this... freak... from walking in and making a fool of the Host Club. But no, thanks to their "manager", this boy was allowed to waltz right in and perish their plans.

_Wait_, Kyoya quickly schemed, _this could work_. If this boy did show his true intentions then Renge would become so embarrassed, Kyoya could not help but smirk again, that she would have to realise she was not qualified to be in charge. That would let him take over and call the shots without her constant intervening.

"Kyoya," Renge turned to him. "You will make sure he gets reservations for each host, right?"

"Yes, manager." Kyoya's mouth twitched into a smile. He turned towards the intruder and put on the same mask he had put on day-in, day-out for the girls. "I look forward to seeing you join us next week."

* * *

"Mommy, what's going on?" Tamaki asked like a child who would ask its mother in fright. At this point, it was the end of the day in Music Room 3 and the Host Club was doing its usual routine check-up of the room. Mori moved the furniture around, ready for whoever needed it tomorrow. Haruhi and Renge cleared up whilst Kaoru and Hikaru mopped the floor from the day's charades. Hunny pranced around with his Usa-chan, making a running commentary of what was needed to clean next. Tamaki habitually walked round, picking out the strengths and weaknesses of his subjects; what they should do the next day and a congratulations for the day gone. He felt it boosted morale, when he really was just getting in the way. But on that day Tamaki noticed Kyoya writing furiously in his notebook. The ebony-haired student almost ripped the page from scribbling out too furiously. Yet, despite this violent action, he smiled to himself.

"Nothing's going wrong, Daddy." Kyoya replied. Tamaki blinked. He knew there had to be something wrong. He knew because Kyoya said 'Daddy' coyly. And, obviously, his Kyoya did not do that.

"Who are you and what did you do with Kyoya?!" Tamaki shouted fearlessly, jabbing his finger into Kyoya's face.

"Oh shut up, Tamaki." Kyoya said in that light-hearted tone that he used when he was overly happy. Tamaki decided that he needed to change tactic.

"Kyoya, tell me or I'll tell Hikaru about last night."

"Last night?" Kyoya blinked. "What happened last night?"

"Ohhhh~ Can you not remember? Or have you chosen to forgotten~?" Tamaki sing-sang mischievously.

"Tamaki, you're doing that thing where you fantasise out loud." Kyoya remarked.

"OHHHHH! HIKARU~! GUESS WHAT KYOYA DID~!" The Princely Host shouted happily. Hikaru looked up from his mop, only to see Kyoya strangle Tamaki.

"I'm happy because I have good news!" Kyoya growled as his hands ringed Tamaki's long, pale neck.

"News. Tell." Tamaki gasped once Kyoya's hands had loosened their grip.

So Kyoya told Tamaki a censured version of the events with the "freak boy" and Renge. He told Tamaki that there was a new guest to the club, so new that they needed to try out all the hosts to see which took their fancy. Tamaki nodded in excitement. Then he told Tamaki that he kept scribbling out his notebook because he did not know how to arrange the new client's reservations and how to replace the original reservations. Tamaki asked why the new guest could not wait in line until there was free space. That's when Kyoya had to explain Renge's intervention... And how the new client was male.

"A male client? NON!" Tamaki screeched. Kyoya nodded. Seeing Tamaki speechless was both comical and tranquil.

"A what?" Hikaru asked, walking over now he had finished his mopping. Kaoru soon followed.

"A male client is coming tomorrow." Kyoya explained calmly to the two twins. Hikaru looked appalled and so did Kaoru.

"We've had male clients in the past. They lasted five seconds, tops." Hikaru complained.

"It's the manager's decision." Kyoya shrugged. "I have no power."

"But I'm the King!"

"You're a constitutional monarchy." Kyoya reminded his blond friend, scribbling down some quick ideas at the back of his notebook. He was pondering over cat-colours. Hikaru and Kaoru could be ginger cats, he himself could be a black cat, Haruhi could be a calico cat, and perhaps Tamaki could be a white cat... but what about Mori and Honey? Typical Kyoya, getting his head wrapped up in tiny details.

Tamaki pouted at Kyoya's remark. It was clear that he didn't like being a constitutional monarchy, he wanted to rule his loyal subjects himself.

"What's up you guys?" Haruhi asked, coming over. Her hands were subconsciously drying a plate with a towel.

"We're getting a male client as of next week!" Tamaki's blue eyes glinted with excitement. He found the correct time to make his morale speech. "Alright, men! We need to make him feel welcome!"

"You didn't fuss over me when I first joined." Haruhi commented in that naive voice she always used when she was pondering. Kyoya smiled to himself behind his notebook. Haruhi had a good point. At that point in time, Haruhi was their first male guest. They had no intruders at that point. So the Host Club naturally got excited.

"Yes, Haruhi, but we knew you from other people's gossip. We knew you were a scholarship student..."

"... So we could use that to our advantage. But we don't know anything about this client." Kaoru finished the sentence off for his brother. Expectedly, everyone stared at Kyoya for a description.

"Well, he wasn't anything special. He had short, fluffy brown hair that stuck up in quite a few places, it aimlessly tried to cover his face. He wasn't the tallest and he wasn't the shortest. He wasn't the skinniest, actually he had quite a bit of girth. His accent was quite odd, like a German trying to do an impression of a Russian." Kyoya could see that he had his underlings hooked. Hunny stared up at him, entranced, and so did Tamaki. Kyoya smiled, it was nice having all his colleagues' attention for once. So he carried on. "He had blue eyes and wore square glasses. His blue blazer was too long for his body, and so were his trousers and shoes."

"Wow." Honey spoke in awe, as if he just seen the most beautiful cake in the world. Kyoya stared back down at Honey, soon becoming freaked out by the admirable look on his face.

"Great, so we know what he looks like." Hikaru remarked sarcastically.

Kaoru added on: "How does that help us?"

Tamaki's fingers snapped. Kyoya sighed, soon becoming bored.

"That's it, men!" Tamaki shouted out heroically, fist in the air. His eyes glinted with that look of inspiration. The same look that made Kyoya smile grimly.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, find out all that you can about the German-y Russian-y boy!"

"Yes, Milord!" The Hitachi twins answered cheerfully.

"Mommy, make sure his appointments are ready!"

"Yes, Daddy." Kyoya said morbidly, Tamaki's beam of joy missing him completely. Seeing Kyoya like his normal, morbid self, made Tamaki feel more at ease.

"Who's his next appointment, anyway?" Hikaru questioned the Prince of Darkness.

"Honey and Mori."

"Honey you keep being cute! Mori... ehhh...you do what you do best." The King covered his tracks as his slipped on what Mori does.

"Yes sir! Let's go Usa-chan." Honey laughed happily, Usa-chan tucked into his arms. He bouncily skipped off, leaving poor Mori desperately trying to keep up with him. Mori grunted as he turned his head towards His Majesty before running off to stop Honey from bouncing into a lamppost.

"And you Haruhi..."

"Yes, Tamaki-senpai?"

"Come here and give Daddy a big hug!" Tamaki grinned happily, holding his arms outstretched.

"I'd rather give Mommy a hug." Haruhi retorted, before disappearing off with the Club's washing. She really is like a maid, Kyoya said in his head. When the dark-haired boy turned round, he saw a very sad Tamaki sulk in the corner.

"Daddy, I'm going home."

"Why won't she give me a hug?!" Tamaki's voice screeched as he wept on his knees. His arms cradled his legs as he rocked himself to and thro.

"Daddy, I'm just going to leave the keys here." Kyoya put down the keys on a table. "Lock up once you're gone."

"Why doesn't my own daughter love me?"

Deciding it was best to leave him to it, Kyoya left Music Room 3 and embarked on his way home i.e. into his car. He could not help but be annoyed at the other hosts. Why were they too blind to see that he was a fraud... a freak? Why did they all get their hopes up, even after Hikaru reminded them that male clientele didn ot go down well? _Never mind,_ Kyoya sighed internally, _none of them will question me ever again when they see who he truly is. _

His chauffeur drove pass the cherry tree when Kyoya got distracted. The cherry tree's branches were no longer nude. Tiny buds were beginning to grow, though there was no way they were ready to bloom just yet. The sky looked like pale navy blue, clouds dotting the sky here and there. The sky is beginning to grow paler, Kyoya smiled, meaning spring will establish itself soon. A new beginning. Just like the new beginning of his reign of the Host Club, not Renge's. However, as he looked at the cherry tree, something bugged Kyoya. It was one of the phrases he said when describing "freak boy". It stuck in his head like a record player that never ended.

"He wasn't anything special..."

* * *

Kyoya read it out but then paused at an interval. Kyoya glanced over it again, to let the truth sink in. It seemed more and more peculiar each time he read it. Everything, from the opening line to the signature. To the appearance to the content. Kyoya sighed. He was being suspicious over nothing; he never really knew the boy. He bit his lip as he looked up to his colleagues. They all had their unique personalities, their own interests. So it was only natural that when he glanced up he saw their different reactions. He glanced over to the teenage female that had handed him the note.

"Go on." Renge wept, having already read it herself as she delivered it. "As manager, it's your duty to read it to them."

To think he had waited so long for Renge to abdicate from the role of manager. For its sweetness to be overwhelmed by this... Ominous feeling. He was meant to be ruler, so what could this feeling be? Was it the letter? The sudden disposal of his problem? The nuisance. The intruder. The freak.

So Kyoya read the rest of the words to his colleague's. His employees. His voice was suitable and stable, his eyes not leaving the note despite the many reactions that happened around him.

_Outside the cherry tree's leaves fell as the sun had already fell into its sleep._

**Nine pages. Woo. This is probably the shortest chapter I've done. It'll probably get longer. Anyway, this is really dramatic. I'm quite annoyed, actually. When I was first writing it, it was nowhere near this dramatic or sad. But it didn't go, there was no flow. So, on a whim, I re-wrote the chapter like this. And now it's all dramatic. And now I've had to change the whole plot of the story to match its dramatic-ness. Boo hoo. Anyway, I want you guys to learn about the OC gradually. Please review and tell me what you think like "He's a Gary-Su!" etc!**

**Byieee!**

**ilurrrverussia!**


	3. The Male Cake

**This is my first FanFiction for OHSHC. I'm used to writing Hetalia and Sonic fanfics so if you feel my style isn't suitable, I'm awfully sorry. Please do read and review, so I know where I'm going wrong and what I'm doing right. **

**I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. If I did then Kyoya would be the main character (he's my favourite!).**

Honey's ears had stopped conforming. They had tuned into a different signal. The stinging sound of the shadows moving and whispering as the candles wavered around, they were far more preferable than Kyoya. Honey could not help but feel like the shadows were slowly but surely consuming him, smacking their lips. Inch by inch, he was eaten like a cake.

The shortest host stared at his best friend. His small hands brushed against Usa-chan face, consoling his inanimate friend. Honey's mind wondered if Usa-chan was crying or if it was his own tears, it was hard to tell in the dark.

After consoling the bunny to a reasonable degree, Honey selected to look at his cousin. Mori was almost invisible in the dark, he himself had already been eaten by the shadows. But his candle lit up his chest, which was quite hopeless in this instance.

Honey then surrendered to the black figures moving around. He gave in to the bad news. Soon it sank into every pore in his skin. Sank into his heart. Wandered into his mind. The immature host let his cousin parcel him in his arms. He let his eyes leak. He let his heart sink. And together, Mori and Honey and Usa-chan, made their own little silent pack. The pack who knew about the male cake.

* * *

The sun's rays had only just skimmed Ouran Academy's surface on that day. The sunlight was still hazily getting into action, leaving the Host Room subtly lit. In Music Room 3 the Host Club was preparing for another day of drama and excitement. And that is where Hunny's memory begins.

It was still in the hazy memory of spring, with more and more flowers propping up here, there and everywhere. The weather had warmed up slightly, the sun more relax now that he checked his calendar. Yes, it was definitely spring and winter was definitely a long wait a way.

"So what did you find out, boys?" Tamaki grinned excitedly.

The older blond could not help but grin too. An atmosphere of eagerness and joy dominated the grand classroom. The Hitachi twins smiled also. Haruhi hummed happily as she draped the fresh table cloths over the tables. Radiating rainbows was Renge, who was getting the china ready. The only two not smiling was Kyoya, who stood brooding in the corner where the atmosphere still needed to conquer, and Mori. Mori was actually outside the room, gesturing to the girls to line up.

Honey and his bunny friend hopped around the room, making sure no one knew how he what was feeling inside. Externally he was beaming and buzzy; internally he was screaming and fuzzy. Worry shattered his energy. _What if the new boy doesn't like me? How do I host for a boy?_

"We have found out that he's shy..."

"...his Japanese is lousy..."

"...he seems to be half German..."

"...and half Russian..."

"...all weird" The ginger twins said in perfect unison at the end. Honey did not pick up the dryness in their voice. He carried on hopping away until he found Haruhi.

"So you boys found out the obvious?" Haruhi commented even dryer as she wafted the table cloth over the table, sending the fragrance of the commoner's washing-machine to dust over the room. The cute-type looked over at the twins. They both pouted and growled.

"No, we also found out he's in our year but in class D."

"It's hard to find out about someone like him."

Haruhi rolled her eyes jokingly. The commoner turned towards Honey and said; "Excuses, excuses, eh Hunny-sempai?"

Honey giggled and nodded, making Usa-chan nod also.

"What cake should we put on Honey's table?" Renge puzzled, now that the last of the china was being settled into place.

"STRAWBERRY!"

"Something with vodka. Russians like vodka." Hikaru nodded to his twin, ignoring Honey's pleas for strawberry cake.

"Please may I remind you that Ouran Academy doesn't allow alcohol on the premises?"

"Mommy, you spoil-sport! How about Black Forest Gatuex? I think the Germans made that." The King stroked his chin in thought. "I'm sure we have one. The one that creepy Polish girl made us."

"Now, now, Tamaki, you can't call a client 'creepy'."

"Oh yeah?" Hikaru grinned playfully, "We all know you're scared of her."

"I'm not scared of her." Kyoya pushed up his glasses and said coolly. "I just simply acknowledge the fact that she's got a high level of testosterone."

After much difficulty, Renge finally found the cake in question in the Host Club's fridge, once she had negotiated her way pass the fancy tuna. It stood on Honey's table with great pride, centre stage. Honey was comforted quite a bit. Any person from a nation that made something like the prestigious cake he had on his table had to be a lovely person. Simple.

Honey sat on his end of the couch, ready for the tidal wave of puffy yellow dresses to begin. And the quick glimpse of a blue blazer. However, Kyoya soon walked up to Honey, his note pad still by his side.

"Honey, will you go and ask Mori if he can see the newcomer? It shouldn't be too hard."

Jumping up from his seat and saluting, Honey bounced his way to his cousin. Once he arrived, an eruption of cooing from the girls started. His darker counterpart looked at him protectively.

"Kyoya asks if you can see the newcomer." The blond cousin asked his darker cousin. In reply he shook his head. Hunny saluted and waved goodbye as he skipped back inside Music Room 3 with sounds of the girls' coos trailing behind him.

Kyoya glanced up from his notebook to the shortest host. Hunny shook his head. Kyoya nodded and then went back to his notebook. A smile tweaked at his lips. Noticing this, Honey began to ponder about it. He also pondered over why all the boys, except Mori, stood around whilst the girls got things ready. However, Honey did not have long to ponder over these things. Haruhi hung up her apron whilst Renge got the flower petals ready. Honey's cousin walked in from his guard-duty and the twins got the fan ready…

"Positions men!" The Host Club monarch roared this orders like a general going into battle. A battle against a deranged foe. A male client.

They raced to their positions. Honey was the cute cavalry, with Usa-chan as his noble steed. Mori was the cold canon, shooting balls of silence into the fogged battlefield. The twins were the scouters, looking here and there for enemy blows. Haruhi was the Joan of Arc, helping her soldiers win, even if it meant cross-dressing. Kyoya was a random Roman officer, neat and organised and probably suffering from OCD. Tamaki probably fancied himself as a knight, thrusting his sword in the air to gesture his army into battle. But Honey saw him as the lazy monarch who sat on his bum and divorced his wives, like that English king from history. That thought made Hunny giggle.

Renge dashed off into the side room and clicked her remote. The doors swung open, roses flittering and dancing in the air to land on the faces of the girls.

"Welcome!"

* * *

"It'll be alright, Mitsukuni," Mori said in his grumbly tone. Honey smiled. He could not believe he was so nervous before. As long as he had his Usa-chan and his Mori, nothing could go wrong. He looked across the room. Everyone was happily chatting away with their clients, with the exception of the twins, who watched their two girls walk away. The two girls made their way towards them, waving shyly.

"Konnichiwa!"

"Konnichiwa, Anna! Konnichiwa, Anya!"

Anya smiled at Honey whilst her friend gazed lovingly at Mori. Honey grinned back.

"We're eating your cake today, Anna!"

"I can see." She said, her eyes not moving from Mori. A small giggle escaped from Honey as he remembered what the other hosts were saying before. Now that he could see her again, Honey realised why Kyoya said she had high level of testosterone.

"Are you not hosting today?" Anya asked shyly, her voice squeaking as she did so.

"We are! We have a new cl-guest today!" Honey beamed. Quickly he remembered that Kyoya did not like them using the word "client" in front of the guests. It sounded a little harsh.

"How wonderful!" Anna jumped in, clapping her large but gentle hands together, "Is she nervous? I'm sure she's in good hands."

Honey was stuck. Big time. What was he to say? "No it's a boy"? Regardless he smiled. Then he decided to play the same game when Haruhi was first forced to join the Host Club.

"Yep! They are running a bit late though." He explained as he sat Usa-chan onto his lap. Hikaru and Kaoru came over and retrieved the girls. The two Polish ladies waved goodbye as Anya smiled shyly at Kaoru whilst Anna grinned at Mori. They were so obvious it was cute.

Then the doors flicked open a little, only to close on themselves again. Then they opened again and a figure was revealed. Gasping, the girls stared in awe, as if they had never seen a boy before. A figure walked right up to where Kyoya and whispered in his ear. A figure with a blue blazer. The female guests observed in silence as the male stranger received a piece of paper from the taller male and walked over to Honey's table. The stranger had an odd walk, like a cross between a march and a model walk. If that was possible.

"Konnichiwa. So-Sorry I late, I had... errm... lost." The stranger bowed and then sat down. Honey stared at him, unable to find words. He wasn't like what he had pictured him to be. Honey had made his eyes dark blue, his real eyes were royal blue. Honey had imagined him with really cool, heavy rimmed big glasses. He had nerdy thin-rimmed glasses. Every little detail that Honey had conjured up did not fit the shivering pile of nerves in front of him.

"Your nose is small." The lolita type's words flew out of his mouth before he could catch them. All he could do was observe his reaction. Weirdly enough the stranger didn't act like a normal person. A normal person would have been taken back, blinking at least. But the stranger in blue smiled happily.

"Da-Danke!"

Honey blinked. Danke? What kind of word was that? Honey decided that the blue stranger was so smart that he was using a very posh word to say thank you. Then nerves hit Honey's fuzzy brain. What if he was insulting him? Honey gripped Usa-chan to his chest. The nerves from before began to strangle him as no words could get out of his throat. The words would not string together, forever being erased and replaced. The words soon strung together as Honey felt something touch his knee. It rested there and comforted him. He looked. It was only Mori's hand.

"Danke means thanks." Mori said plainly. Honey looked up at him and relaxed instantly. His thoughts drawn up the conclusion they often drew up. As long as he had his cousin and his bunny rabbit, nothing could stop him. Nothing at all. Suddenly Honey had ideas. Since he was the first host to have him, he could be the first one to get all the information on him. He could start from anywhere. But first's first, Honey giggled, better start off with the easy things first.

"Konnichiwa! I'm Honey and this is Takashi!" Honey beamed joyfully. He gestured to himself and his tall companion. Then he held up his beloved smaller companion. "And this is Usa-chan."

Honey studied his reaction. Normal clients cooed and melted like butter on toast. The stranger in blue chuckled softly and sat back slightly. _Maybe he's not so terrifying after all_? Honey thought.

"N-Nice meet you." The boy stuttered. He shuffled awkwardly, his shyness becoming more and more apparent.

"Can I call you Puki-chan?" Honey blinked twice to add effect on to his voice. The boy's head jerked upwards, blinking rapidly. Sharply he nodded. Quickly he searched his satchel and brought out two books. He flicked open the green book and rummaged through.

"How are you today?" He read out loud from the green resource. Honey stared at his book. Soon it came apparent that it was a Russian or German to Japanese dictionary. Hand-made, by the looks of the graffiti scribbled on it.

"We're fine, aren't we Takashi?"

Mori nodded in reply. Honey made Usa-chan nod also. They all looked at the blue stranger. He smiled and nodded.

"Me also fine."

For a few minutes there was no dialogue. Honey sighed inwardly. When this happened it meant that the client wasn't suited for the hosts in question. Puki-chan was just too quiet. He was better off with Hikaru and Kaoru, who made their own entertainment. Or perhaps he was better suited to Tamaki, who often did most of the talking and action anyway. However, Honey was determined not to let the cracks show. He was going to make sure that the blue stranger enjoyed his stay so much it that he would not even realise that he was not suitable. Obviously he would guess after a while that the Hitachii twins or Tamaki was better for his needs, but that was after a while. In those few minutes of silence, Honey soon became aware of everyone staring at them. The other hosts desperately tried to grab their client's attention, only to be ignored to stare at the blue boy wonder. Honey looked around helplessly, searching high and low for inspiration. Until his tummy rumbled and provided him with that essential eureka moment.

"Puki-chan! Do you like cake?" Honey's eyes glazed over with sparkles. He could not wait to dive into the dark cake in front of him. He could imagine it now. Sweet, dark, rich, crumbly, chocolate-y goodness on his tongue and down his throat, delighting his taste buds, satisfying his tummy. He stared at Puki-chan for an answer. The blue stranger flicked through his green book once again. Then he looked up and nodded. Then his blue eyes finally saw the cake in front of him.

"Schwarzwälder kirschtorte."

Honey looked at him, tilting his head. Soon he clocked on that it must have been the German name for the cake. He looked up at Mori who had a smile tugging at his lips. Mori got up and walked over to the refreshment tray to grab the knife. Honey sat forward so he could see the blue stranger even closer. He noticed that the stranger in blue was looking down at his lap, obviously too shy to say anything.

"Do you like it here in Japan?"

The stranger nodded. Honey sighed. He did not know how he was going to make him enjoy his time with them. He played with his bunny a bit more. But, like always, Mori came in to save the day.

"Mitsukuni and I do martial arts." Mori stated as he laid the table down with the required cutlery. The strange boy looked up and smiled at him. He flicked through his green book once more and began to ask questions.

"You like m-martial art?" He asked Honey as Mori cut the cake into eighths. Honey blinked. What was he doing wrong? How did Mori make him talk like that? Soon the blond boy realised where he was going wrong. He was asking the boy questions. Perhaps he did not like questions? Honey smiled and hugged Usa-chan.

"Yes! It's great fun! And I'm very good at it." Honey grinned. He liked how suddenly his guest was more relaxed. The male client shuffled into the couch and looked up. He was kind of cute when he was smiling. Like a bunny rabbit. Every now and then he flicked back to his book.

"Takashi-san l-like martial arts?"

"He's the best there! He also does kendo club with me!" Despite Honey's praise, Mori's face still kept as emotionless as ever as he served the cake. The way it sat happily on his plate made Honey more anxious to scoff it. But he had to wait for Mori to be done.

"The big ch-cherry tree a f-few minutes a-away is very p-pretty." The new client remarked quietly.

"Wait 'til you see it fully in bloom! You'll love it then!"

Mori had finished serving the dessert once Honey said that. Honey inspected the cake. Now he could see the different layers more clearly. Each layer consisted of cream and cherries wedged in between slabs of chocolate sponge. Honey's eyes sparkled once more. He decided that he truly did love anyone from Germany. Honey waited until Mori sat down. Then he tucked in. He loved it, just like he predicted. It was rich and chocolate-y, just like he said, but it was also creamy and sweet from the cherries. He hummed happily. He was beginning to like Anna as a person. She may have been very masculine but she knew how to make chocolate cake! Honey happily ate his slice of cake before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Mitsukuni, don't eat too much or you won't be able to eat your dinner." Mori advised him from beside him. Honey frowned.

"I won't." He pouted. He looked across to the boy. The brunette smiled delicately at him and gently ate a bit of his slice of cake. Observing him eat so slow sent Honey crazy. Honey wanted to eat it for himself. His own slice was not a portion. It was a meagre crumb. Yet Mori had cut the new boy enough to feed him forever. Honey crossed his arms defiantly. The boy opposite looked like he ate enough cakes in his time. Mean but true. And the way he gently scooped up a part of delicious splendour and toyed with it, nibbling here and there or letting his tongue poke through. He sucked in little crumbs yet seem to play with the spoonful. Honey had inhaled his part of the cake in no time flat. Cautiously he looked up at Mori. His dark eyes seem to concentrate on the boy opposite. The boy noticed this and smiled shyly before resting his bowl on the table. Honey whispered into Mori's ear, pleading and begging for a few more crumbs. Mori shook his head and kept observing the boy in front. Honey frowned and looked at him too. Suddenly the boy was back with his scruffy book again, flicking through it expertly.

"Please excuse me." He got up and bowed apologetically. Honey decided that the new boy was eagerly polite. And a bit scary. Mori continued to watch him like a security camera. Honey was the one to ask the question.

"Where are you going?" He asked innocently. Slowly the male looked up and smiled.

"Tea."

That is when Mori acted out of character. Mori got up calmly and pushed the client in blue into his seat. Mori stared him long and hard.

"What would you like?"

"Tea... With six sweeteners please... Und milk until the colour is beige..."

Honey stared at them both. He had not anticipated Mori racing up from his seat like that. Neither did he realise that Puki-chan was so detailed. Silently Mori sneaked off to make the requested drink. Honey soon became self-consciousness. The female clients were staring at him again. When he looked at the male opposite, he seemed to understand that the other felt conscious of this also. Honey bit his lip, thinking of what to say. He could not really call him pretty, could he?

"Honey-san," The new boy leaned forward, his bowl in his hands, his voice quiet enough to only just be heard. "Do you want my cake, Takashi's gone?"

Honey blinked. He instantly regretted judging him by his tummy. Now he felt guilty and yet excited. Did he send Mori away to get tea just for Honey to have cake? Honey nodded with approval and the male client handed over the sweet dessert.

"How come you don't want it?" Honey asked quickly as he began partitioning the cake into sections: Nice, Very Nice, Extremely Nice, and Divine. He decided to eat it from descending order, just in case Mori came back before he could eat it all.

"I don't like cake." The client whispered after flickering through his book again. Honey's face shown his inner emotion. Honey was not too sure whether to be reassured about eating the cake or frightened. The boy noticed his shock and soon found an appropriate sentence formed in his head.

"I don't have a sweet tooth... I have a... Salt tooth?" His brown eyebrows furrowed together into a thick line across his forehead as he questioned his book's translation. Honey did not mind his translation. He was more surprised by his explanation. How come Puki-chan was slightly tubby if he didn't have a sweet tooth? Honey did not bother to ask questions though. He wolfed the slices of cake down before Mori could come back. He loved the moist crumbs and the sweet taste with the creamy texture, with the after-bite of the cherries.

"Is it natural to have a salt tooth?" Honey mumbled with his mouth full. He did not stop to consider how his guest may have felt. And he was beginning not to care.

"My mother is baker," Honey's Puki-chan laughed nervously, "I sick of her cakes a long time ago."

Honey looked up at him, delight lighting up his face like a torch. He finally concluded that his client was an odd boy. Very odd not to love cake. Very odd indeed to get sick of his mother's cake. But his heart was in the right place. Honey specifically noted that when the blue client began whispering frantically: "Takashi-san, Takashi-san!"

Honey scooped up the last piece of cake and shoved the bowl into the German/Russian's hands. His guest started miming eating the last non-existent crumble of the dessert as Mori walked over with a cup of tea on a silver tray. Mori carefully laid it down before the guest and then sat down next to his cousin. Honey, now knowing the guest's secret about his savoury tooth, could not help but ponder over why he needed so much sweetener in his tea. Then he noted that he lifted the tea to moisten his lips and then set it down again.

"Danke Takashi-san." His blue eyes glittered a little behind his glasses as the warmth from the tea had spread to his cheeks. Mori nodded his welcome. His eyes rested on Usa-chan.

"Puki-chan?" Honey asked, wondering what was going on in the other's foreign head.

"May... I... hold Usa-chan?" His voice squeaked. A blush rose onto his cheeks and he looked down slightly. He pulled up his glasses once more and shuffled in his seat.

"Of course..." Honey said hesitantly, passing the stuffed toy over reluctantly. He observed as his guest looked up and smiled gratefully. The blue wonder moved the rabbit's limbs. He rose Usa-chan so he covered his face, his beady black eyes looking at Honey endearingly.

"Konnichiwa, Honey-sempai!" The guest made a high-pitch voice and spoke behind the rabbit, commanding his hand to wave to him. Honey gasped and bounced up and down. He pulled on the darker boy's arm. He whispered excitedly:

"Takashi! Usa-chan is talking!"

Mori could not help but smile at him, and this in turn made Honey smile back.

"Konnichiwa Usa-chan!" Honey giggled back.

"My friend is a bit shy," Usa-chan continued to talk, "So I'm to help him talk to you!"

"Okay, Usa-chan!"

Usa-chan nodded his little pink head and then said: "Firstly, you and you, know each other, how?"

Honey could see his guest skim the pages of his book once again whilst holding up Usa-chan with one hand.

"I and Takashi are cousins." The shorter of the cousins explained: "We both join in with the Host Club."

Usa-chan nodded his head: "My friend has a cousin too. His cousin looks after him also." The pink bunny looked at Mori for a minute and then it went back to Honey.

Honey smiled warmly. Inside he knew it was just his new client hiding behind his Usa-chan, but there was something endearing about it. He was not too sure whether that, despite talking to him a little, the client was still shy or whether it was how he made Usa-chan, who was forever lovingly inanimate and mute, suddenly burst with life. Or perhaps it was how the shy boy in front of him changed into being inquisitive and a little courageous. Honey decided to play innocent to his charade, like a child with a magician.

"My friend asks if you could teach me some martial-art moves..." Honey's childhood friend nodded to him. Honey giggled and nodded, standing up. He stretched his legs out a little and crouched, like being in a sitting position. His mahogany eyes glanced at his precious bunny, who was copying off him, sitting on the boy's leg.

"Then you punch like this!" His fist swept through the air quickly and stopped when his arm had reach its full stretch capacity. Usa-chan copied him sloppily, his tubby arms outstretched. Honey clapped his hands wildly.

"That's how you do it, Usa-chan!"

"Hoy-ah! I'm a kung-fu master!" Usa-chan flipped his limbs wildly and consequently knocked over his puppeteer's beverage. The cup shattered on the floor and splashed both the puppeteer and Mori. The brunette gasped and began gathering the fragments of china, mumbling frantically in what Honey thought had to be Russian or German. Honey checked Usa-chan; not a single stain. He then checked Mori. The consumable had littered the tips of his trousers.

"Takashi?" Honey's voice just reached the taller male's ears. He nodded and blinked silently. Then he arose and mopped his trousers down with a spare napkin. Then he did likewise to the other boy's legs. This gained him a blush from the client. The client then risen from the ground and threw the china of his former tea-cup into the litter-disposer. He sat back down, flushing.

"Well, Puki-chan, the next appointments will be coming soon so you'll have to leave." The boy lolita type said blankly, somewhat dazed from the sudden events. The boy opposite nodded his head shyly, strands of his mousey hair hiding his face, adding to his aura of mystery. He stood up and walked over to where the two hosts were. He held out his hand for Honey to shake. Realising he knew how to look cuter, the young-looking boy pounced on his mysterious client.

His arms wriggled around his Puki-chan's waist as he squashed his face into the other's stomach. That's when a sudden warmth hit his selfish heart. The further his face dug into the cuddly being, he genuinely felt more emotionally attached to the male. The male client was not like the other boys. Honey's arms went right round the other boys and met again, they were too undernourished. No bone or meat to cling to, nothing to snuggle. But this intruder, this stranger, made him feel something different. Honey's arms wrapped around the other and rendezvoused at the other boy's back. The whole of the guest's body seemed to be gently protected with a supportive layer of a squishy substance that made best for cuddling. All the cakes he was forced to taste, all the salty snacks he helped himself to, Honey sighed inwardly, must have been the factor make him so darn... huggable. So warm and fuzzy, just like Usa-chan.

When the host looked up, he saw two wide, bright eyes glimmer back at him. Two arms wrapped around him and gave him a quick squeeze before retreating back to their side positions. Honey took this as a plea to let go.

The client then gave Usa-chan a fleeting kiss, his lips brushing the teddy's material and then leaving. He spun round on his feet to face Mori. He held out his hand once more, awaiting for the scarier one of the duo to shake his hand. Instead he got the unexpected, a dagger of electricity striking up his arm as his hand reached Takashi's face. Honey watched his cousin, slightly intrigued at why his genuinely quiet and reclusive relative decided to kiss the client's hand. The male then staggered backwards timidly and then grabbed his satchel. Hurriedly he rammed his precious books into his holder and swung it across his shoulder. Twirling round, he bowed for one last time, smiled and whispered: "I look to seeing you around, da?"

Then he sauntered off. A dazing sensation swallowed Honey into its bottomless pit. The smallest host did not understand why. Something about that boy seemed to captivate his mind, even if he was not what Honey first thought he would be like. Everything from his voice to his texture, it all stained his memory.

Suddenly Honey's observance heightened. Mori's lips were dark red. Mori licked his lips unconsciously. He gasped silently and sharply gestured to the client who was making his way pass the gawping wave of yellow. The client stuck out alarmingly. As he bumped into a few of the females, his bloodied hands left imprints on their attire. He apologised and bowed more times than necessary but did not know about his bleeding hands. The girls just stared at him like an alien.

Honey carried on staring after him until he felt something foreign poke his hands. He looked at the object. It was Puki-chan's paper. His eyes read Kyoya's hand-writing. It listed his new friend's appointments, when, who with and what events were occurring. But something significant stood out against the neutral colours.

"Go after him." Mori whispered.

So Honey soon found himself running pass the girls. He did not bounce or giggle childishly with Usa-chan. He felt exposed, like his cute exterior was shattering. He diverted pass a few of the girls, the air in his hair. The army of dresses seemed like massive umbrellas; floating but still getting in the way. Honey found it ironic how the tides changed. The hosts were the army with the girls as an alliance, the stranger was the sworn enemy. And now he was the ally and the females were the army of distractions.

The newest ally turned around as Honey's hand tugged on his blazer. Honey shoved the paper into the other's dripping hands. The other smiled and bowed, still clueless of his hands.

"Danke, Honey-san."

He turned once more and made his way to a different door than what was first anticipated by Honey. The blond boy watched as the brunette slipped into darkness of the next room without hesitation. Hazily he walked back to his tall companion and sit down next to him. Mori's mouth hung open slightly.

"What's wrong Takashi?" Honey decided to ask. Mori's eyes fixed to the door the new client just entered. Honey's eyes followed Mori's.

Suddenly he figured out why Mori was so transfixed.

"AHH! Look at my dress!" Anya screamed. Everyone else now stared at her. The red marks on her yellow dress stood out alertly. Soon Anna's voice screeched as she soon realised the red hand-prints on her broad shoulders. Tamaki walked over to the middle of the room, rolling his wrists in the air and gaining everyone's attention.

"Calm down, my darling princesses, calm down. It's obvious that someone's had a little accident and it has spiralled a bit out of control, but not to fear, my loves. I, personally, shall clean up this horrid mess at once."

The girls fell for it. They swooned and they cooed as their "king" dashed off to retrieve a mop. Kyoya sighed, pushed up his glasses and wrote furiously in his notebook.

"Ladies, may I have your attention?" He arose from his seat and clutched his heart, once he had finished his scribbling. "I shall make sure the Host Club reimburses you for the dry-cleaning cost. Please, do remain calm."

The girls the nodded, completely satisfied. They settled down to their respected host. Honey tried his best to entertain the group of three that then sat before him.

"Honey-chan, Usa-chan is right here." A girl with the dimples handed his precious friend over. Honey giggled and hugged him tightly to his chest.

"Thank you ladies!"

Honey's attention would not stick. His concentration would not settle. He noticed Tamaki trying to mop up the blood speckles on the floor. The French host had only managed to spread the mess over the floor more so. He watched as Kaoru forgot and fell over, landing rear-first.

"OW! MY BOTTOM!"

"That's what he says after we play a game of 'Bouncy Bed'." Hikaru teased and helped him up, retreating back to their table. The girls squealed at the "brotherly love" and kept watching as the two argued over how Kaoru was such a 'uke'.

When the end of the guests' time ended with Honey, he gave them each a hug. None of them seemed to be made of soft tissue quite like his Puki-chan...

* * *

When the end of the day fell once more, Haruhi found herself having to clean up the blood. Renge wiped the tables whilst Mori moved the furniture after her, lingering like a shadow over her. The twins piled the table clothes and cutlery in a bag for the hosts' servant to clean (also known as Haruhi). Kyoya was growling to himself in the corner, jotting down more things into his notebook. Honey thought that perhaps he was angry for paying for all the girls' dry-cleaning. Or perhaps it was something else?

"I don't see the big fuss..."

"... It was only a little splatter!" The twins talked aloud to themselves.

Tamaki pestered Haruhi, having no inspirational speech for the day. So Honey brought the task onto himself.

"Well, what do you guys think of him?"

"I love him. Totally in love with him." Kyoya snorted in his corner.

"Oi! Hands off!" Haruhi grinned as she swished the mop expertly. Tamaki ran off to his corner to sulk, slipping on his way there. Kyoya did not giggle nor did he even look up. He just chewed his lip in thought.

"I don't like him... Something's not right with him." Hikaru wrapped his arms around his stomach, as if it was that part of him that did not agree with the new boy. Kaoru kept silent and looked at his feet.

Honey frowned. They did not give him anything to comment on. So he decided to make his own comments.

"He wasn't what I thought he'd be like." He bounced up to Haruhi with Usa-chan. Haruhi smiled and tilted her head, her mopping halted.

"What did you think he was going to be like, Honey-sempai?"

"I thought he was going to have sun-glasses and a big Russian nose! Like Ivan Braginski!"

Haruhi shrugged apologetically and shook her head.

"I've never heard of Ivan Braginski, is he a popular person with rich kids?"

The other hosts sniggered, not wishing to tell their common servant about Ivan. Then Hikaru started arguing with Kaoru over whether or not Ivan Braginski really did have sunglasses. Haruhi blinked, deciding that she will just have to find it out herself. Honey looked up at Mori, who had moved the furniture into their respectful place for the following morn.

"What about you, Mori? How did he taste?"

Mori's sleepy eyes stared at Honey for a moment, his usual blank mask on his face.

"He tasted bitter-sweet." And with that comment, Mori looked back up, gazing at something far away in his mind. Honey skipped over to Tamaki, who was now nibbling on a cookie in his corner. Tamaki's corner was like Kyoya's aurora; dark, miserable, an impenetrable fortress.

"Tama-chan! How did you feel about the new boy?"

Tamaki mumbled something incomprehensible, his teeth making quick work on his cookie. Honey heard Haruhi's sighing from behind him.

"I didn't hang up the clothes today because the forecast said it was raining," Haruhi rung her mop of the blood, all the splatters dripped into the bucket. "But look outside, the sun could quite easily dry the clothes!"

Tamaki raced across the room and suffocated his precious "daughter" in a warm embrace.

"I know! It was wrong yesterday too! Let's go and enjoy Japan's freaky weather together, like father and daughter!"

Haruhi smirked and shook her head.

"Sorry, senpai, I have to go home and make sure I have everything sorted for dinner." Then Haruhi growled at a certain blood stain on one of the table-clothes, standing out alarmingly against the white fabric.

"I guess that boy has stained the whole Host Club!" Renge laughed as she held up more washing for Haruhi.

Honey watched the whole scene with delight, if not a bit sorry for Haruhi-chan. He loved watching the other hosts and their funny dramas. But he liked being the centre of the attention more. So he looked around. His gaze registered that they were finished packing up. The washing was in one sack, the cutlery in another sack. The tables were lined up for the morning, in case anyone needed the music room. The pictures were dusted, the floor freshly mopped. The room smelt like antiseptics and dust. The same dusty smell that was always in the room was the day was over. And, as Mori grabbed Honey's hand, the cutest host realised it was time for Mori and him to go. It was Mori's kendo class, after all.

* * *

The sun lowered itself, creating a golden glow, as Honey watched Mori's kendo lesson. He admired how his cousin was so quick with his training-stick, slicing through the air with a blunt object. But every now and then, Honey always got distracted. He always waited outside the bamboo-door, sticking his head through to watch. But one of the kendo boys, Hanai, always glared at Honey. His eyes narrowed and his mouth snarled as Honey was caught peeping in. To remove suspicion, Honey looked outside to the cherry path regularly to avoid his gaze.

The blond boy watched the scenes outside, all as unique as the next.

He saw Renge leave first, kicking the stray leaves that lay in piles underneath the trees. She often did that, whether it be leaves or twigs or blossoms. The cleaners would often be a few feet behind her, tidying the organic mass back into their neat piles, ready for collection.

The next scene he saw was Haruhi, dragging along her bags of cleaning. She hummed a commoner tune as she walked beneath the cherry trees and the growing normal trees. Her bags made clinking sounds and disrupted the new piles of leaves. He watched as she finally left the little slice of nature, the cleaners brushing up the leaves once again.

The third scene was quick. He watched two boys run underneath the trees, sprinting in between the leaves. The branches of the trees shadowed and covered them from the golden light, they were the moving shadows that dominated the night versus the candle light. They shouted to each other, laughing and giggling. The one that was ahead seemed to be wearing a long coat of some sort, with odd-sized hands. The one that was behind was average-height, and was slightly curvy. Honey blinked. It could have been his Puki-chan, but it could have been any other boy.

That is when a thought popped into his mind.

When he looked at his Puki-chan's piece of paper, Kyoya adressed him as "The Male Freak". Why did he do that? Kyoya was never normally so upfront about his dislike for people, especially clients.

A heavy hand rested on Honey's shoulder, leading him to jump.

"Takashi! You made me jump!"

And with that, Mori and Honey walked together down the tree-path, just as Renge and Haruhi had done before them. He saw a quick glimpse of the boy at the end as he ran out of the shadows and into the sunshine.

"Mitsukunni, why did you call him 'Puki-chan'?" The darker of the two questioned, as the boy who revealed himself was definitely Honey's Puki-chan. Honey wondered briefly, before answering.

"...He looks like a Puki-chan... Don't you think?"

Mori shook his head but gave no more comments. The twosome strolled to their chauffer's car, who parked just outside the cherry tree path. The cherry tree path was always a famous part at Ouran Academy, a shade for the summer and a beautiful place, with the cherry trees and normal trees. The largest cherry tree sat on the side, not wishing to conform to the rest. And as Honey admired the rebellious tree, a certain comment stuck inside his head, a thought that persisted and refused to shift from his brain.

"_I guess that boy has stained the whole Host Club!"_

Looking back, Honey realised just how attached he was to Puki-chan, and how immediate it was too. Him, Puki-chan and Usa-chan had their own silent pact after all- not to tell Mori about the extra cake.

Since he did not wish to look at any of the other hosts, he decided to keep his eyes transfixed on his little buddy.

Honey stared at Usa-chan in his hands, remembering how his Puki-chan's hands made Usa-chan come to life so easily. How his lips kissed Usa-chan, just like Honey's did so on a regular basis. Honey hugged Usa-chan, comforting his poor teddy at its saddest hour. Mori's heavy hands lay on his tiny shoulders once more as a sign for comfort. When Usa-chan was finished getting comforted, Honey saw that Puki-chan really did stain the Host Club. Not only their hearts and minds, but physically.

For Puki-chan's hands prints were left on Usa-chan's sides.

_Outside the world seemed lighter, but this light was artificial, and therefore deceptive._

**Is it too early to ship Mori with Puki-chan? Please tell me if you can feel the feels too! I love Honey, he is simply adorable. I do hope I captured him right. Anyway, please review!**

**Byieee!**

**Ilurrrverussia!**


	4. The Male Art

**A/N: I know his name should be "Puki-kun" but "Puki-chan" sounds cuter. I have put too much thought into this. Now I want you all to remember something for me! These chapters are written in third person but follow a certain character each time and therefore comments on their experiences and their feelings. So although Haruhi sees it one way, it may not be that way at all. All will become clear soon enough!**

The room was dark, shadows of both physical and mental state lurking around in the open. The faint sound of eager chatting could be heard outside but yet silence still seemed to be the most powerful sound in the room.

In the dark, Haruhi was unmoved. The shadows failed to subdue her, the atmosphere failing to drown her in any emotion. Oh, wait, scratch that last line out. She felt something alright: pity. She pitied the male client; she pitied the hosts; she pitied the management.

In one quick glance at the colourful array of idiots before her, she understood the situation perfectly, excluding some minor errors.

The second-to-shortest host looked firstly to the shadow king. He was reading out the note slowly and calmly, often trying to raise his voice over Honey's blubbering. Haruhi saw how he tried not to show his slightly sadistic pleasure from this note. Haruhi understood perfectly though.

There was, truth be told, no real reason to this rivalry. Kyoya had always ran the Host Club, all Renge ever did was be his little elf. So why would he feel threatened by her? Was it because she got Tamaki to reject a few of his ideas? Was it because she had good ideas too?

"Is it because they fancy one another?" She heard Tamaki's voice say. Some days she could not get rid of that boy! Speaking of Tamaki, his lordship was currently weeping too. His eyes dribbled uncontrollably, his face still able to look remarkably glamorous. He currently had his arms enveloping her, manipulating her head to rest on his shoulder. His eyes shifted subject to and from Kyoya and Haruhi. Those same eyes caught her auburn eyes for a moment so she looked away to the mysterious cousins.

From what she could estimate using the swaying flames, Honey was hiccupping his emotions away, his eyes unleashing tsunami after tsunami. He was comforting his companion the same way Mori was holding him. Mori was as silent and as hard to read as normal, like a book written in a foreign language. She could only calculate that he was concerned over his smaller half. But as she stared at them, something moved in the corner of her eye. Her head snapped to the sudden movement, so spontaneous that Tamaki became misbalanced for a moment.

The movement was Hikaru fixing his cat ears, a bored expression copied from his face on to his brother's. Soon Haruhi found herself confused mildly. The darkness and the expressions of the others made her paranoid. Umehito, Haruhi observed, seemed to be deeply contemplating whilst a hysterical Renge inspected Kyoya with great intensity. Such intensity made both Haruhi and Tamaki startle when Umehito held Renge in his long, slender arms. Now a new sound was added to the playlist of life. A loud siren had arrived in the universe outside the music room, quite unwanted too.

It was a moment when a moment lingered for longer than a moment. And so, in that deviant moment, Haruhi recalled what she had learnt of this male client.

Haruhi's first recollection of him was quite a subconscious and subtle one at that. She had heard of a new male in her year, but as his grades were poorer than her father's income, he was in class 1D, far away from her. So she did not particularly care as he had nothing to do with her.

But when Kyoya announced that the young male was going to attend at the host club, the commoner was quite intrigued. Gender does not matter as she always comments and neither did outward appearance. However she wanted to see how the others reacted to him and how he, being a boy, would react to a girl pretending to be a boy… If that makes any sense?

Haruhi soon learnt that the effect it had on the others was catastrophic.

The bitter rivalry between the female management and the prince of darkness soon heightened to an unknown measurement. She saw this from the way the two fiercely glared at each other and how this new war was totally dependent on the male client failing. He only had to be proven as a fraud or a nuisance and then Kyoya would gain the status of the new leader of the club. However, the boy only had to increase members or success in some other measurement and then Renge would have preserved her current status as female management.

This made life difficult.

When it was her turn to host for this trouble-maker; it was a warmer day as spring was fully confident on its hold of the world. The flowers twirled in the mild breeze with confidence, showing off their natural beauty only to be trampled on. Spring encouraged a slight breeze to keep the temperature at a happy medium, lest the sun get too cocky and cook everyone alive. The cherry trees outside joined in with the flowers, the blossoms cheering to the students below. A few rude students from the D and C classes snatched a few of the cherry blossoms away from their parent tree. One tree, animated by the breeze, managed to hit one of the students on the head for stealing its precious flower. Go tree-power!

Much to Haruhi's dismay, she was late for her hosting duties for the day the boy client was appointed to her. Even more unfortunately it was his appointment she was late for. She was not anxious for meeting the new boy but anxious for the deal the twins had forced her into. If she was late then they got to pick her costume for Euro Day.

So when she finally reached Music Room 3, she knew that her fate was sealed. All the other hosts had already started their appointments, so absorbed into their duties they did not see the common girl enter.

Hoping the male was late, her eyes searched for a boy in blue against the yellow girls. She found him talking to Mori. Knowing his location, Haruhi sat in her assigned seat and watched the two exchange a quick glance. Then the male bowed, held out a cake, muttered something and then left. Mori watched him walk off and then snatched the cake for Honey once the mysterious boy was a foot away.

Despite the other hosts' concerns about a female hosting for a boy, Haruhi was relaxed. All she had to do was be herself, as she was the natural type, and hope the new client did not pick her for his permanent host. Simple.

"Good morning senpai! My name is Fujioka Haruhi! But you just call me Haruhi, okay?" Haruhi greeted the new client, holding her hand out for him. The client stared at her hand for a moment as if it was a trap. A moment passed and then the male sat down, leading to Haruhi to withdraw her hand.

"Konnchiwa H-Haruhi but me n-no your senpai." The male whispered, folding himself up into a little parcel. Haruhi watched in awe at this rich boy. This boy was even scared of commoners?

"Oh?"

"M-Me class 1D, you c-class 1A."

Not knowing how to lead on from that, Haruhi pulled her signature smile and gently tilted her head to the side.

"How are you today?"

The blue-eyed male in front of her rummaged through his satchel and retrieved his two books. He flicked through the green book, searching for an answer to her question. This bought Haruhi time to analyse the situation, allowing her to make a list of questions in her head to start conversation with. If she was early she could have asked Honey for advice.

The female host glanced over at Honey's table where he was entertaining Anna and Anya. He was currently rolling around on Anya's lap whilst Anna gazed endearingly at Mori. Mori, however, was staring back at Haruhi. Seizing the moment, Haruhi wiggled her tongue at Mori. The tallest host kept staring but did not notice her. Poor Mori-senpai, Haruhi thought, this new guy has really scarred him for life.

The female then glanced in the opposite direction. Yet again her glance was met with a stare but instead of being met with a blank stare, she was met with Tamaki's wild stare. His eyes seemed to get larger and larger by the second. Desperately he tried to hide behind his seat but his disguise was flawed by his princess complaining. Haruhi smiled at the two and then returned to her client.

"I-I is fine, how about Haruhi?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

Ahhh, here come the wonderful conversation starters!

"How was your first appointment with the Host Club?" Haruhi asked softly. Always be soft when with shy people, the twenty-third rule of being a host!

The blue stranger hugged his knees tightly as his cheeks coloured a little and a warm smile lit up his face.

"Good. I like Usa-chan a-and Honey and Ta-Takashi." His voice came out like delicate whisper as he faced the mentioned hosts' table. Honey waved at him, noticing his gaze. Mori was looking at the ceiling. Then the client stared back at Haruhi, blinking. "Does y-y-you like ca-cake?"

"Not really…" An awkward pause settled on them both for an instant and then ran off, "Do you like Japan?"

"Hai, I like m-manga and… Hatsune Miku! Still need to g-get used to food and language." He pushed up his glasses and nodded at Haruhi. Haruhi could not help but feel his perfect host would be Renge, not herself.

And that awkward pause returned… But what could she use to fill that gap? Commoner stories, questions for him, cats? Suddenly, as she felt Tamaki staring at the back of her head again, she knew what to do.

"Do you know which Hosts are who?" Haruhi looked up at him from under her fringe, causing him to blush. He unwrapped himself from his parcel and pointed to Honey and Mori.

"Honey, Takashi, Usa-chan…" Then he pointed to her, "You're Haruhi!"

Haruhi found herself smiling. He was so cute. But something about him did not settle right in her stomach. If he was as cute and as shy as he seemed, how come there was so much hostility towards him from the twins?

"I'll help you out!" She got up calmly and sat next to him. "Where's your piece of paper?"

The newest client had hid himself behind a pillow; his arm was shaking as he gave her the paper Kyoya gave to him.

Haruhi's eyes skimmed over it twice. It seemed Kyoya really wanted to win the battle against Renge, going as far as to try and scare the boy out of the picture.

"Male freak?" She read out accidently.

"Hai, must be ch-ch-character problem."

Inwardly she sighed as his own naivety saved her.

"Okay, so after me you have the twins…"

The commoner pointed to the two ginger boys. Then she could not help but smirk at Kyoya's twisted sense of humour. The boy next to her pushed up his glasses and played with his over-sized sleeves as he looked over at the twins, unaware of her smirking.

"You have the twins for Yaoi Day…"

Some of the clients from the other tables giggled and squealed as they overheard Haruhi. Haruhi herself was biting down the grin that wanted to frame her face. The male, however, titled his head.

"Yaoi? What is that?"

Haruhi's smile turned into that unwanted grin.

"The twins, Hikaru and Kaoru… They'll tell you…" The host said and shrugged. How does one explain Japanese boy-love to a homosexual boy? Anyway he was in Japan now so he should find out soon enough.

"And then have… Ootori?" The male client nodded to the shadow king in the corner.

"Hai! And then we have Tamaki-senpai!"

Tamaki's head whipped round as his name was said. He then seemed to stare at the fellow European for quite some time and then he went back to his guest. Haruhi was not too sure what was wrong with His Majesty today.

"Hai, you have Tamaki-senpai for Euro Day, where we dress up with costumes from all over Europe."

"H-How…" The boy bit his lip. He probably wanted to say something like "exotic" but did not know how. "… Nice!"

Remembering Euro Day, Haruhi frowned to herself. Her tardiness meant the boys were now allowed to pick her costume. But what will it be? A frilly European dress? A Roman toga?

"Neko Day?"

Haruhi's concentration snapped back and placed her attention back to her client.

"Yeah, we dress up as cats. I think Kyoya wants you to pick your Host on that day."

"O-Oh! Can me dress up too?"

His glasses slipped to the end of his nose again but this time he was too busy writing something down in his blue book to push them back up.

"Sure! As long as you wear your uniform for class."

The awkward silence spread his wings across the couch, killing conversation with his penetrating glare. It was only now did Haruhi notice a few of the girls staring at them. They whispered to each other, staring mostly at the male client. A few of them giggled at Haruhi, probably shipping her with him. Mentally Haruhi sighed. The clients were often as crazy as the hosts.

"You're pretty."

The natural host turned her head back to her client, astonished that he could say a sentence without stumbling. She smiled at him and winked.

"Thanks, you're pretty cute!"

He bit his lip, a blush colouring his dull, spotty face. He raised his blue book up and his mechanical pencil.

"May I draw y-you sometime?"

Haruhi grinned. Eureka! Finally, something they could talk about!

"Sure. Do you draw? May I see?"

His chapped lips turned into a pout, his grip tightening around his book. Then he sighed softly and handed over his book.

After skimming through the book, Haruhi could not believe it. She thought he would draw silly comic book sketches like all the other silly 1D boys. But his drawings were realistic.

There were all sorts of sketches in there. Some of manga characters, some of modest mice, some of beautiful landmarks and glorious backdrops. There were some self-portraits which were too harsh; he often emphasised his spots or accentuated his weight. There were some sketches of a little girl whom looked familiar to Haruhi. There was a sketch of a familiar-looking boy too. Then there was a sketch of Honey and Mori hugging Usa-chan.

"Awww, that's cute." The female host commented.

"Danke."

"You like drawing then?"

"Yes," He answered, sitting back and unfolding himself, "I l-like seeing the beauty in everything. For e-everything has something beautiful physically, mentally a-and emotionally about it b-b-but everyone has something ugly too."

His otherwise beautiful speech was killed off by how he had to flick through his book for every other word. She was how frustrated that made him, having such a deep and passionate idea but not having the words to express it.

Haruhi sipped her coffee. This boy, despite not being aesthetically outstanding, had something about him. Something cute and quaint.

"That's why I like boys. Girls are always so pretty and easy to draw… But boys are far more challenging."

Haruhi tried not to choke on her coffee. That was it, he was definitely gay. Now all she had to do was remember to tell the boys.

"That's a very sweet thing to say." Haruhi chuckled softly.

"Вы Смешная девчонка." He whispered softly to himself, giggling a little once he did so. Haruhi ignored it, knowing that her time with him was drawing to an end. Haruhi inwardly frowned. She felt as though she had not really accomplished anything or made any bond. She knew she blew her chance of making her his chosen host. He was cute and would probably enjoy Haruhi's commoner stories or hearing about her father. But then the commoner decided that it was probably for the best. The shy, shaking pile of nerves in front of her would be best suited for Tamaki, whom would put confidence in his step and would compensate for his silence with Tamaki's loudness.

"You know Mori and Honey are eighteen, right?" The poorest in the room remarked knowing that it would get a reaction as she decided to end her appointment with idle chit-chat.

"Who's M-Mori?"

"Mori, the big guy!"

The stranger in blue blushed heavily so that Haruhi was worried they would ignite. His eyes widened behind his glasses.

"No, really?! Little H-Honey?!"

"Hai."

That was it. The next customer walked over to Haruhi; a girl in yellow with brown hair, just like the other girls. Haruhi smiled to her next client and then turned to the boy in blue.

"It was nice meeting you today."

The boy stared at her outstretched hand but this time shook limply. Slow but gentle progress.

"It was n-nice meeting you t-too, Har-oo-hee." The male concluded, bowing slightly. Then he bowed to the next customer and made his exit. Haruhi smiled to herself and then turned to her customer.

"Konnichiwa!"

Her customer did not reply to her greeting but pointed to the satchel on the couch- He had forgotten it. Immediately Haruhi took control.

"Don''t worry, Miss, I'll be right back!"

So Haruhi had to run after him as he was being rather quick with his walking. His funny little sway made him totter. Haruhi tapped his shoulder, once she had navigated her way past the yellow army of girls.

"Hey, you forgot your satchel!"

The male client turned around, smiling. His hand was clasped firmly on the door knob to an exit. Using his other, he carefully took the satchel from Haruhi's arm as if he was a child trying to preserve the wrapping paper on a present.

"D-Danke."

Haruhi realised his hand on the brass doorknob.

"Y'know, that's the door to the Black Magic Club, right?"

Laughing, he replied:

"Ja, I know."

Finally the time had come for the hosts to pack away. The youthfulness of the day had well disappeared by now as the world turned golden. This precious idea stayed in Haruhi's head as she gathered her plastic bags for all the washing and used dishes to go in. Using this time she had alone with Renge, the natural host decided it would be the best time to ask the question that was bothering her most.

"Why did you want that guy to join so badly?"

Renge sighed and patted Haruhi's head, pitying 'him' for not understanding moe.

"It's because any host that has him immediately has the 'yaoi' factor. Besides, have you noticed how many girls were here today? The vast majority of them simply wanted to watch you and your new client. That draws up business."

Haruhi sighed. Yaoi. It was always there, the word lurked in the host club and was muttered by the female clients. Yaoi.

Renge had then moved on to filling up her bag of flower petals, leaving Haruhi to finish picking up the used cutlery. The female host turned around as the "princely" type tapped her shoulder. But when Haruhi turned around to see what he wanted, he had trudged off to his corner. Something plagued him terribly; the twins were therefore joyful for this endangered opportunity to mither Haruhi with none of Tamaki's interference.

"You were late again, Haruhi—"

"—your punishment awaits…"

The common girl bit her lip. She had developed an aching weariness of cosplay-days. What was wrong with normal clothes? Comfortable, safe and practical. That circus theme they last had was far too extravagant, frilly and stiff for poor Haruhi. Heh, a bit like Tamaki…

So now the ideas of costumes sprung up like morbid rabbits in her mind. What would it be this time? A kawaii British rabbit? A rude French maid? A sensitive Belgian chocolate bun?

No, no, she remembered now. A frilly, French aristocrat dress was more likely. Or a cutesy Victorian chimney sweep. Yes, something horribly cute or dreadfully frilly.

With these thoughts, Haruhi sighed and looked at her torturers in the eyes and said: "Do your worst!"

"We had Mother design it for you—"

"—however, you must keep this a secret from the boss—"

"—Okay?" The two said, continuing on from each other. Haruhi grimaced and wondered if it was too late to give the lottery a go.

"Sure, whatever. But how will I keep it a secret? He's the king!"

The two twins grinned and slowly the other hosts (and Renge), sneaked over.

"It's a joint effort. It'll become clear soon enough!" Kyoya said, imitating Tamaki's tone and use of gesture. The other boy giggled at him whilst Renge grinned brightly at Haruhi.

"We knew you'd like it!" Renge winked as the two dastards revealed the costume from behind their backs.

How wonderfully peculiar, Haruhi did in fact like this cosplay. It did look stiff in the shoulder area but everywhere else was fine. It was their mother's take on a British Georgian military uniform: British red with the gold tassles on the shoulder pads and breeches and even matching boots. It looked sophisticated without it being a silly, frilly, dilly dress.

But… Why would the boys choose something so nice but "boring"?

"Guys, it is lovely but-"

"I know! Mother said she thought it's the best cosplay she's made!" The twins exclaimed excitedly. Haruhi sighed and decided she probably did not need to know the details behind their new scheme.

"Fine, fine, I'll wear it."

As soon as she said that, the group disbanded. Mori roamed away, putting the furniture back into its usual place. The twins quickly hid Haruhi's new costume and decided to start undressing the tables for Haruhi's washing. They muttered to themselves about new ideas for Yaoi Day. Renge was mopping the floor so soon the room smelt like chlorine. This left Honey, Haruhi and Kyoya to ponder about what just happened.

"Tell Tamaki about the costume and I'll double your debt," Kyoya warned her, "And this new male does not count on your charter, unless he picks you as his personal host."

Haruhi stared up at him and then grinned.

"No problem! He'll pick Tamaki-senpai."

Kyoya stared down at her.

"Really? I'd place my money on the twins winning."

Honey frowned and looked up at both of them.

"But what about me and Takashi? I want him back. I've decided!" Honey huffed, folding his little arms. Mori strolled over, picked him up, and then continued to move furniture with Honey on his shoulder.

Kyoya just shrugged at Haruhi and tottered off to attend to some needy maths questions. She paused for a moment. With this weird disagreement between Kyoya and Renge, it had been a while since the hosts bonded or even had a stupid plot. It was nice to see them back to themselves, even if it was only for a little while.

"Wow, we've certainly changed haven't we?" Tamaki commented, coming up from behind her. Haruhi jumped a little then nodded.

"Yeah, we sure have. You guys used to never help me and Renge tidy up," Haruhi replied, muttering: "But you still don't help," under her breath.

"We never used to have the necessity to clean up, remember? The Music Room solely belonged to us and no one else." Tamaki added, his hands now rummaging into his pockets.

"That's true, now it's used by that secret club."

"Haruhi?"

"Yes, Tamaki-senpai?"

"… Be careful of Europeans, okay?"

Haruhi scowled at the irony. Tamaki himself was half French, what on Earth was he talking about?

"Whatever, Daddy, I'm going home."

So Haruhi lugged her bags over her shoulder (with help from Mori) and sauntered off, leaving Tamaki in his moment of his bliss.

She walked down the cherry pathway. The cleaners were still trying to neatly arrange loose leaves from the other trees, which now were added to by the premature cherry blossoms that died. She tried her best not to mess the piles this time and dragged her bag along behind her like a lazy dog being dragged by its owner. She turned behind for a moment and saw Honey waiting outside the kendo club for Mori. He waved once he noticed her and then went back to spying. She looked up at the Host Club's window where a mute Tamaki watched the world with a solemn wisdom.

She could remember was Tamaki's words a bit too clear… Like piano sounds rebounding, in her head, spinning round.

"Be careful of Europeans, okay?"

Often Haruhi saw the male in the commoners' markets, looking for cheap art utensils. She would often smile at him but he would not notice. He stared at the ground whilst his older cousin did all the talking, his younger cousin clinging to him. Once he caught Haruhi's eyes and winked but they never really exchanged speech ever again.

And now, she realised, it is too late.

So, unimpressed and unmoved, she shook her head at her comrades. Why did it matter to them? Female clients were misplaced and replaced regularly and they never cared before. So what made this client so special? His gender?

Perhaps that's why they care for me so, Haruhi contemplated, because I'm different due to my gender…

What abysmal news.

Besides, they were filthy rich, they could have just visited him. They had airplanes, private jets, boats; all sorts of communicational media in front of them. She was the only one unable to see him again! She should be the one crying, not them!

Something about him must have moved them… Perhaps it was that ominous, impending sense of doom…

_What is real and what is but a fictional dream? Both are fake and both feel real; both can be blissful, both can rip your senses into halves._

**ACK! This is my worst chapter. I wrote a few ideas but then got too lazy for them, ack again! And yes, I did steal a line or two from Butterfly On Your Right Shoulder by Len Kagamine. Go ahead and judge! Also, the guy knows Kyoya's last name for a reason, mwahaha!**


	5. The Male Attack

**Author's Notes: Eurgh, here goes nothing! Hikaru, I choose you! If you like Black Butler you may have realised that I have stolen a few ideas! The vast majority of you by now have probably figured out who the boy client's relatives are, haven't you? And I apologise for constantly calling the twins ginger. Apparently it's auburn.**

It was dark. All was quiet yet loud. The chatter from the corridor to the breathing and the existence of the others in the room, all of it was so loud. But the loudest of all was the older twin's thoughts.

His thoughts swirled and swirled, a tornado of ideas and possibilities. They would not be silenced by logic but only grew and intensified the more Kyoya read the letter. Hikaru fixed his cats ears, one of the things that was eating at his soul. Then he closed his eyes which seemed to bring him more colour and light than the host club room.

He hated this moment in time. Truly despised it. He hated the sobbing of Honey in the corner, the loose tears that escaped every now and then from Tamaki. He could not stand the pitying but anxious expression of Haruhi. And most of all, he hated the look on Kaoru's face.

Kaoru stole the look from Hikaru. He perfectly mimicked his facial expression and even his body language. The two ginger cats sat together, perfectly reflecting each other through an invisible mirror. They both sat with a straight back, beautifully posed, but neither of them wanted to stay that way a minute longer than necessary. They both held their candles delicately, knowing that only the candle light could betray them. The two gingers may have sat with completely bored faces but they both knew they were lying.

Hikaru knew that when they would get home they would collapse into their bedroom and isolate themselves once more, just for the night. He could confidently predict shouting and confusion on his part whilst his younger brother would cry delicately. Then they would both grow tired of their emotions and fall asleep together, content and comforted from knowing the other one was present.

Hikaru then cursed the male client. How dare he sneak his way in only to disturb the perfect peace?

Hikaru understood that they would soon forget him and his miserable existence but for now, it hurt. At least, Hikaru hoped that they would soon forget him…

Hikaru's hatred for this new guy was determined even before meeting him. When Kyoya announced the news about their newest guest, Hikaru warned that he would be nothing but a nuisance. No one but Kyoya listened. Nobody but Kyoya.

This was not helpful. Haruhi accused him of just being judgemental, which stung him greatly. Kyoya preferred Kaoru to Hikaru and so did not back up or talk to Hikaru about the matter. However Kyoya did rely on him for information.

"I can't find him on the system. I need something. I need a name, a date of birth, a proper nationality, anything but his gender!" Kyoya growled to Hikaru and Kaoru once, on the phone.

"We have nothing but class 1D, which should make it easier for you."

"It gives me a year for his date of birth, nothing more, nothing less."

Hikaru sighed and hung up. No matter how much Hikaru and Kaoru charmed or asked for gossip, no one had anything on him. All they had was a class number and the blatant obvious.

At first Kaoru was on Hikaru's side, or at least that was what Kaoru told him. Everytime Hikaru would complain or object, Kaoru mimicked him and followed. But when the male client started his appointments with the hosts, Kaoru began to soften. He looked at his shoes when Hikaru whined, he grew slightly distant when Hikaru brought up the subject. Everyone but Kyoya and Hikaru had softened on the idea of a boy being a client.

By the time Yaoi Day came, spring had blew itself away to give summer its turn. The sun seemed slightly cocky, warming up Japan more than necessary. The leaves were a vivid green now, the cherry trees began to give fruit, the rest of nature was happy. This bright atmosphere swept across Ouran and the sunlight invaded every section imaginable. Summer was the time when very few secrets could continue, when light triumphed over the dark. The days grew longer, night grew shorter and life seemed to be so joyful. Except the sweltering heat. As said in Rome and Juliet: "For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring".

In Music Room 3 the hosts were preparing for Yaoi Day. Hikaru remembered how Renge suggested it and got the King to overrule the Prince of Darkness. It was to be the second largest event in the host club's calendar, but the biggest event to hold appointments.

Since spring had ended the hosts stayed later to practise their performance. They all had assigned roles and a special scenario to act out. Thankfully they got to pick and make these scenarios and roles themselves. The only thing they could not pick was who they would work with.

No matter how much begging they all did, Haruhi got put with Kasanoda. This in turn led to Kyoya being partnered up with Tamaki, which made both boys screech.

"Actually, this is the most fun I've had so far," Kyoya admitted as he got his table set up with Tamaki.

"I know! Yaoi Day is so cool," Tamaki grinned, wrapping his arm around Kyoya,"I finally get to use a katatsu and get married!"

Tamaki came up with the idea of him and Kyoya being a same-sex married couple. He obviously drew this from him being 'Daddy' and Kyoya being 'Mommy'. This then meant the host club could have them both sit by a katatsu, drinking green tea and being cute towards each other. By which I mean Tamaki would be cute to his 'wife' whilst Kyoya nagged him about the chores he did not do or the money he spent.

"We even have matching kimonos." Kyoya despaired at this, wondering why he had to be the woman in this marriage.

"The girls will love it!" Renge squealed, "Especially when they see the others!"

Haruhi was partnered with Kasanoda who, ever since this war occurred between Kyoya and Renge, had been helping the host club as Renge's slave. Now that Kasanoda realised Haruhi was a girl, and got over the rejection, the two became good friends. So when they both had to make a plan they decided with a sweet but simple plan. They were to play as two high school boys (no cosplaying for Haruhi!) whom were best friends but both fancied each other. This meant there were to be lots of accidental touches and double-meanings and a hell of a lot of blushing.

"How are you two doing?" Renge asked, spinning around to find the two mysterious cousins.

Mori and Honey found it exceptionally hard to think of something for Yaoi Day. They could not do 'Forbidden Cousinly Love' due to it being too similar to the twins. All the other ideas the two could come up with had to be discarded due to Honey being too innocent or cute-looking to pull it off. So, a week before the day had arrived, Honey took inspiration from one of Renge's favourite manga. They chose the "young and short lord with a really tall butler" theme. So it was basically their normal routine with fancy cosplays and a lot more cake!

Hikaru sat down at his table with Kaoru. They had thought of a few ideas but their best material was often improvised. This themed day was practically their everyday. Although Hikaru secretly preferred the idea of spending today with Haruhi. And ditching this new guy.

"A gay boy for Yaoi Day?" Hikaru whispered to Kaoru as he glared at Kyoya.

"Perhaps it will make things easier?"

"We're turning into the Zuka club but for boys!"

Kaoru shrugged.

"It's only one appointment. It will be finished before you know it."

Hikaru nodded. Kaoru was right. He was also their second appointment for the day, meaning they could enjoy the rest of the day without him.

"Okay everyone, since this is a themed day I'm going to make a quick speech on behalf of the king!"

The twins smirked. How very tactile of Kyoya- to steal Tamaki's power away whilst flattering him.

"That's a good woman, Mommy!"

"There are probably going to be lots of bystanders as 'yaoi' is a popular theme and so we shall be impressing quite a lot of potential clients today. Renge will be on site taking photos and, to be candid, we're going to make a massive profit from this. However, I want you to all know that Daddy loves you all very much!"

'Daddy' grinned at Kyoya and roughly tackled him into a hug. Then Renge nodded, her fan remote at hand.

"Ready-?"

"Welcome!"

Hikaru and Kaoru hosted perfectly for their first appointment of guests. The three girls were swooning over the handsome twins, one of them even had to leave for fresh air.

"Promise you won't do any yaoi without me!"

"Princess, I can't promise you that, you know what Hikaru's like!"

Hikaru bit his lip. Improvising really did give them the best lines. So whist the girl was away, Kaoru made them all some tea.

"Is that new boy coming today?" One of the girls giggled.

"…Yeah."

"Oh! How wonderful! We'll have to stay and wait for his appointment!" The other girl giggled.

"Who does he have?"

"Us." The twin said in unison. The two girls blushed heavily.

"Double yaoi!"

"Quick, someone tell the queen and tell her to record it!"

Hikaru stared at Kaoru, raising his eyebrows. Kaoru lowered his head and pointed to Renge. The third girl came back soon enough and squealed when they heard about the twins' next appointment.

Hikaru was quite annoyed. He could not escape from this boy, even in his earlier appointments. So when he was not too busy fussing over his brother, his eyes were fixed on the clock. The seconds hand seemed to be enjoying Hikaru's pain, relishing it and savouring the pain in his heart. The minute hand was even worse, tenderly mocking Hikaru with its slow movement.

When the time did come, it was very disordered. Hikaru saw the girls sit in the chairs that Kyoya had set up for non-participants, watching closely. He also saw Renge fiddling with a camera. Then Renge paced quickly to the twins.

"I'm not taking pictures of you and the male client. I will leave that for when he has Tamaki. But later on I will be taking pictures of you and the female guests."

The brothers nodded, grateful that Renge was being such a decent person. Renge nodded back and then went to Tamaki's and Kyoya's table.

The male client arrived a minute after Renge had left. Instantly Hikaru could tell that this appointment was going to be slower than the one before. Shy, permanently blushing and bowing over and over again to apologise for his tardiness, he was everything that Hikaru hated put into one being. But before Hikaru could judge him any further, he and Kaoru got up and improvised.

"No need to say sorry…" The twins stated, circling around their temporary client. Then Kaoru led the boy to his chair, even pushing it out for him. Kaoru then stood to his left. Hikaru stood to his right. The two twins kissed his cheeks in unison.

"Happy Yaoi Day!"

The lower classed student blushed even more and covered his lips with his hands. He looked from twin to twin.

"I'm Hikaru!"

"And I'm Kaoru!"

The male looked up and nodded eagerly which made his glasses jump off his nose but land back on his nose again.

Hikaru soon realised that hosting for this weird boy was just like hosting a girl. A girl who did not squeal or get nose bleeds. So the older twin decided to use his imagination. He painted over the new guy's bleak existence and turned him (in Hikaru's mind) into a girl. That was much better. Now their temporary client was a shy, pitiful girl who refused to squeal. Much better.

Now that he had a 'girl' guest, Hikaru did what he did best- prompting Kaoru into doing the hard work.

"You have such round, rosy cheeks…" Hikaru whispered close to the client's ear but loud enough for the spectators to hear. The spectators squealed loudly and then held their breath. Hikaru then reached out to stroke the guest's cheek when Kaoru slapped his hand away. Exactly how Hikaru wanted it.

"Kaoru! How dare you slap me! In front of such a lovely guest as well!"

Kaoru then lifted his hand to his forehead to look ashamed when really he was sneaking in some fake tears via his sleeve.

"I couldn't help myself Hikaru! To see you fussing over him like that…" Kaoru exclaimed, looking down towards his feet. Hikaru walked over to him and held him in his arms, lifting his chin up.

"Dear Kaoru, I can always fuss over you when we get home…"

There was the signature line that crowned the display off. The girls squealed, a few them glaring at Renge for not recording the event. Even the hosts' guests looked over when they saw the male client running away.

"Where's he going?" Hikaru whispered to Kaoru out of the girls' hearing range. This led them to use their imaginations and squeal over nothing.

"He's got a nose bleed!" Kaoru hissed. Hikaru rolled his eyes.

The twins sat down and made tea whilst they waited for their guest to come back. They plotted their next move. Hikaru looked up at the clock. The longer the boy was away the less time Hikaru had to spend with him, which was a good thing. This amount of squealing and nose-bleeds was beginning to grate his very core.

"So s-s-sorry!"

Their temporary guest sat down with his green translation book resting on his lap. He constantly glanced at them both anxiously. It was obvious he had nothing to say that held meaning as he gripped on to a handkerchief.

"Would you like a cookie?"

"Nyet, danke."

The two stared at each other, their facial features widened. It was like the two twins had found an alien.

"What?"

"I m-mean, no thank you!"

Inwardly Hikaru schemed. His last hopes were on feeding him and his twin pieces of that cookie!

"So then, rosy-posy, are you a uke or a seme?"

Hikaru had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at his brother's forwardness. They had already broke the 'no kissing" host rule and now they were destroying the "no personal or rude questions" rules too.

In the corner of his eyes he could see the girls sit forward eagerly.

"What's do them w-words mean?"

"Do you even know what 'yaoi' means?"

The guest shook his fluffy head. Hikaru took a quick look at the clock. Nowhere near finished. The seconds hand was still torturing him.

"Boy love? Gay? Boys cuddling boys?" Kaoru asked desperately. Thankfully the boy understood.

"Okay, so if I had to give an example I'd say that I was the seme," Hikaru explained before winking at his guest. Knowing his cue, Kaoru sat on Hikaru's lap.

"Then I'd be a uke!" Kaoru winked, hugging his brother's neck. The boy dabbed at his nose just in case.

"So which one are you?" The twins asked in perfect unison.

The male opened his mouth to answer when Hikaru could see whizz of colour in the corner of his eye. This 'whizz' soon reached the full pupil of his eye…

"I th-think I'm a…"

The colour was yellow. For Hikaru it seemed to have happened too quickly, like seeing a film whilst fast-forwarding.

A girl had rushed from the next table and had shoved their guest's chair forwards abruptly. This sudden force, partnered with a lack of chair direction, made the chair tip the guest forward. Before the boy could stop himself, he had landed on the floor with an embarrassingly loud thud. His head landed on to the table, making a more terrifying sound. He yelped loudly.

However before the spectators could even look up from the boy's catastrophe, the hosts were on it. Tamaki and Kyoya grabbed the fleeting culprit and dragged her behind the curtain to soften the blow to the guests. The twins were going to aid the male guest but, when they looked over, Honey's butler was already on it. The twins simply watched in awe as Mori picked the boy up as if he was made out of pure air, earning him squeals from the girls and a gasp from the boy. Then the quiet host walked past the ogling girls. The twins were going to follow until another sudden outburst happened, for the doors to another certain room flung open dramatically showing the real royalty of Music Room 3. A dark aura swept through the hosts' room as Nekozawa stormed in.

"Where is he?!" Nekozawa shouted, his Beelzenef flipping its little limbs wildly.

"Nekozawa—"

"Where's my little cousin? What did you do to him?!"

"Neko! Neko!" The male cried out, waving his arms.

"My little mouse!"

Umehito's cousin lay in Mori's arms, his arms weakly outstretched to him. Nekozawa padded over in his slippers to Mori. Then he nodded gratefully at Mori and then left with the European boy to the forbidden door that led to the Black Magic Club room.

The guests looked in awe to the door. Then they turned to each other.

Hikaru saw Kyoya grinning from behind the curtain, certain that Tamaki would have to ban the boy from the club room. But much to the dismay of Hikaru and Kyoya, the guests adored it.

"So much yaoi!" They gasped, "So dramatic and eventful!"

"Bravo!"

"How beautifully scripted!"

Hikaru stared at Kaoru. Kaoru stared at Hikaru. Where could Hikaru start?

"Sorry ladies, we're going to have a quick emergency meeting! Then we'll be right back!" Renge exclaimed like a TV presenter. The females nodded and sipped their tea, chatting about the amazing 'show' the hosts had put on just for them.

The hosts, Renge, Kasanoda and Anna disappeared into the curtain. You see, the area that contained the fridge, the litter-disposer and the other 'ugly' (as Tamaki put) utensils were curtained off so that the 'magic' (Tamaki again) would be preserved. This area also held the closet for outfits and a list of phone numbers and directions in the emergency that Kyoya could not attend school.

"Anna what are you doing here?" Hikaru hissed as he entered the curtained off section. Then he saw the whole picture.

Honey was sobbing into Mori's hair (he had climbed onto Mori's shoulders at this point) whilst Mori stared at the culprit. Haruhi said nothing but had her mouth ajar, still a bit shocked from the whole affair. Kasanoda looked around sheepishly whilst the king gestured to the twins.

"Hold her whilst I scold her."

The twins grabbed hold of her, taking hold of an arm each. Hikaru forced his thoughts to keep silent so he could concentrate better.

"Why, Anya, why?" The masculine female questioned, her wide lips wobbling.

"Because I hate him! I despise him!" shouted Anya before weeping. She bent her head so her hair could cover her face and perhaps to retain some of her dignity.

"Anya, you must understand that we cannot allow you back here for quite a while," Tamaki spoke softly but firmly, "We cannot tolerance violence to other guests. That boy could have easily landed on one of our twins too!"

"I understand, sir. I'm sorry for causing you such grief. But I won't apologise to him."

"Come on Anya, let's go." The gentle giant led her disgraced friend away whilst the hosts and co. remained. Once they had left Tamaki turned to Mori.

"Mori, are you hurt?"

Mori shook his head.

"Twins?"

"No."

"We'll talk about this incident later when we're tidying up. For now, go and continue the event!" Kyoya hissed.

So, slightly dazed, the hosts begrudgingly carried on with their hosting.

Hikaru decided that he really did prefer hosting for his usual girl guests. They were easier to talk to, prank with and tease. So much easier. Their squealing and blushing helped remind Hikaru what he and Kaoru did best when it came to hosting. The girls were also a lot more grateful, Hikaru felt, and easier to fuss over.

The summer sun did not look at his clock. He never did. He decided to shine brilliantly and keep the sky its usual hue of blue despite the time. The rich students of Ouran were now leaving, planning on what to do with this brilliant weather before July could come to ruin it. The hosts were now beginning to feel the temperature though as they had cleared up today's set up of chair and tables. They left out nine chairs for them all and Kyoya grabbed his pink notebook. Once Hikaru saw the notebook he realised that it was not the usual host club meeting.

"Let the Emergency Host Club meeting commence!" The king shouted dramatically, pointing at his subjects.

"It explains the small nose, he obviously gets that from Nekozawa." Honey said to no one in particular.

"If only I could check his records…" Kyoya mumbled.

"Okay, I'll start off the discussion properly!" Hikaru shouted, discarding his blazer aggressively, in hope for the heat to spare him. They all observed him intently. "We need to ban that boy from the host club!"

"NOT PUKI-CHAN!" Honey screamed.

"That's his name?" Kyoya asked as his head jerked around eagerly to Honey.

"No. Nickname." Mori explained bluntly.

"Isn't that a bit dramatic? We've already got rid of Anya." Haruhi commented. A weird angry sensation spread over Hikaru as a peculiar pain navigated its way to his chest.

"Think about it! Anya's not a violent psychopath, she's a normal girl. He's got to be awful or something to push her that far."

"So Nekozawa was the one underneath the trees… The larger hand was Beelzenef." Honey once more added to his own private conversation.

"Look! He's even screwed up Honey! And I've never seen Mori so chatty!"

"Hikaru has a point. What if another girl attacks him? What if leads to Haruhi being hurt?" Kyoya sided with Hikaru, tactfully making it more personal to their constitutional monarchy. But that weird pain ripped into his chest again.

"Exactly!"

"Haruhi got attacked during her early days, remember? Even had her wallet thrown into the fountain! But we didn't get rid of her," Tamaki wagged his finger at Hikaru and Kyoya. "So we'll have to wait and see if he gets attacked in the host club again."

Hikaru's hands turned white with the effort he had put into curling his hands into fists. Why did Tamaki not understand what a threat he was? Not only physically to the hosts but also to their reputation?

"Hosting for a boy is simply ridiculous!"

"Hikaru! We promised to make every one of our guests happy, even if they're male! Now please calm your little outbursts!" Tamaki shouted back. _If this club goes down due to him, it shall be Tamaki's fault, not mine_\- Hikaru decided. So Hikaru chose the next thing he wanted to talk about.

"Kyoya, if he picks us for his hosts, please don't give him to us." The twin said quietly through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry, he won't pick you. He looked so uncomfortable today I thought his cheeks were going to explode." Honey stated, curling his lips into his angry pout. He clutched his Usa-chan with a fierce grip and then glared at the twins.

"So? We don't want him." Hikaru said coolly.

"Look, he's already caused enough trouble. He gets blood everywhere, leaves his stuff behind, gets attacked and now we're arguing over him!" Kyoya exclaimed at Tamaki.

"True but his hands are tied." Renge smirked in the corner.

"What do you mean, Renge?" Haruhi questioned.

"He has the Nekozawas as his cousins. And if it's on his father side, he will even have their name. So if we do anything to him, anything, then the Black Magic Club can curse us just like how Nekozawa cursed Tamaki that day and when he cursed that tree!"

Everyone could clearly see that Tamaki was anxious and terrified of the consequences.

"His magic—"

"Leave it Haruhi." Kyoya advised, waving it off with his hand.

Hikaru thought he could finally see their club clearly. Whoever had power over their king won the battle for power. Renge had exploited his weakness and now pulled the strings. This explained the rivalry between her and Kyoya clearly for Hikaru.

"Besides, he's led to a lot of extra business!" Renge brightly, grinning. Hikaru sighed at how hopeless their monarchy was.

The hosts left the meeting with that last remark. Haruhi had slipped away already with the washing. Honey and Mori were now going to kendo club. Then Tamaki ran out quickly before 'the evil' could get him. Renge was going to Anime Club whilst Kyoya was going to look over the accounts. Kasanoda, not too sure on why he had to attend the meeting, went home with Haruhi. So the twins walked down the cherry path and looked at the big cherry tree as they passed it.

"Why is it so big? And why does it never give fruit?" Hikaru whispered to Kaoru. Kaoru laughed.

"You've not heard Tamaki say it a thousand times?"

"I don't really pay attention to him."

"Nekozawa was practising curses and so cursed the tree."

Hikaru rolled his eyes and sat in his family's limo with Kaoru. He watched the trees blur into one as their chauffer drove them. He sat pondering on how he could help the king see sense. Male clients never went down well and this one was no exception. His army of thoughts were shattered and separated by his brother tapping his arm.

"Why did you not ask me about how I felt? Why did you decide that we didn't want him?"

"Kaoru! He's dangerous!"

"Why did you not ask me how I felt? I do exist you know! I'm not completely like you!"

"Why, Kaoru? Do you like him?"

"I liked hosting for him! It was different!"

"It was boring and tedious."

"It was interesting."

The two did not talk for the rest of their journey and evening but gave in when they sat on their bed.

"Anya has a crush on you, y'know?" Hikaru said just before he turned off their lamp.

"How can she like me when she can't tell us apart?"

Hikaru nodded in the dark. That was a good point. And it was a point that bothered him for quite a while after.

After that, Hikaru tried his best to try for more information to help Kyoya's investigation. Anything, even just gossip. He cringed every time one of the guests mentioned him. Every time he saw that Russian German thing, he could not help but bite his lip. This resentment only grew when he heard that his enemy had been moved up to class 1B.

So hearing this letter made him relieved. It was like a glass wall between him and Kaoru had been smashed. And Hikaru knew he will be there for when Kaoru wants to have a cry about it later.

In fact, Hikaru was determined to make it up to his younger brother. He decided that they'll use the cookie trick on a few of the girls this evening. Hikaru would be the best cat ever, just for Kaoru. This made Hikaru eager and excited, even though his face remained bored. Yes, the older twin will spoil his brother rotten just for tonight. Then tomorrow he can go back to spoiling himself. But Hikaru vowed something. If he ever found that boy again, Hikaru was going to make him pay. He had nearly destroyed their club, made him argue with Kaoru and often caused more trouble than what he was worth. Even now in the dark, he made Honey and Tamaki weep. Hikaru guessed Haruhi would feel a bit sad, even just minutely. That boy had disrupted their preparations. That male's existence and sudden disappearance hurt Kaoru, Hikaru could tell that with great ease.

And if there was one thing he would not forgive, it was someone hurting his brother. Someone other than himself, of course.

_Nobody can be loved by everyone. Nobody can be hated by everyone._

**A/N I'm sorry. I absolutely adore the twins and their shenanigans but I can't write for them properly. Next chapter is Kaoru.**

**Ahem, because you bothered to read until the end, I have decided to make a small, tiny taste on what Yaoi Day was like. Obviously you'll need to use your imagination to understand how embarrassed Kyoya and Haruhi are feeling! And how embarrassed I am just trying to write it!**

Hello, hello, hello! And welcome to the Host Club's Yaoi Day! Today is to be the second biggest event on their calendar, excluding the festivals. And you get a special snippet of what is happening!

Over in the right, lower corner is the Suoh Family. Mr and Mr Suoh are inviting guests to have a Japanese tea party with them by their katatsu.

"More green tea, milady?" Tamaki Suoh asks to a guest, dressed in a traditional kimono.

"Ohh, Tamaki…" Kyoya bites his lip, his hands pressed together, dressed in a matching kimono.

"What's wrong, my pretty trophy wife?"

Kyoya blushes and looks down at their katatsu.

"I wish you would not flirt with the pretty ladies so. It makes me jealous."

Tamaki wraps his arm around Kyoya's waist.

"But you're my wife. You're the one I adore."

"Ohh Tamaki…"

After a few minutes of the two making tea for their guests, Kyoya frowns at the paperwork he has done.

"Husband, darling, I can't be a great house wife if you keep spending all the money. And when are you going to fix my stool? I can't make you cookies when you get home if you don't fix my stool!"

"I'm sorry, my dear wife."

Aww! Aren't they cute together?

Anyway, now we move to the middle of the room where the twins are. Today must be just like another day for them.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru asks after another round of the "Which One Is Hikaru?" game.

"Yeah, Kaoru?" Hikaru responds bluntly with half a cookie in his mouth.

"I love you." Kaoru blushes deeply and hides his cheeks with his hands.

"I love you too, messy." Hikaru says, licking a bit of chocolate Kaoru had on the corner of his lip.

Whilst this is happening, Haruhi and his best friend are enjoying the event too.

"Hey!"

"Hi!"

"I'm Haruhi and this is my best friend Ritsu Kasanoda!"

"I'm Ritsu and this is my best friend Haruhi Fujioka!"

The two best friends laugh in unison and elbow each other.

"We're close, aren't we, good old Ritsu?"

"Yeah, Haruhi! We're like two peas in a pod!"

"Like an old married couple."

After a few minutes of silence, blushing and Haruhi trying to tear a loose piece of skin off his lip, the two continue.

"Yeah, Ritsu and I are like brothers!"

"Yeah! Like the Hitachiin twins!"

The two lose their grin when they look over to see Hikaru licking Kaoru's cheek. Ritsu dabs away at his nosebleed whilst Haruhi tries to hide his face in shame.

Will those two ever tell each other their feelings?

Finally we travel to Honey and Mori's table. Only the best silver cutlery and the laciest of table cloths shall do for Earl Honey.

"Takashi, where is my cake?"

"My lord, your teeth will fall out with all this cake."

"I'm the Earl of Cakemhive and I want cake!"

Earl Honey's loyal and freakishly tall butler Mori zooms across the room and fetches the cake on a silver platter.

"This is Demon Cake, especially baked by Puki-chan's mother."

Earl Honey nods cutely and tries to cut the cake with his spoon. But the icing has set well so poor Honey cannot get to it.

"Here, master."

Butler Takashi sits Earl Honey on his lap, cuts the cake for him and spoon feeds him. Earl Honey sure is spoiled.

If you want to read more or even see some of the pictures, please contact Kyoya Ootori to buy the "Yaoi Day Spectacular!" album for quite a lot of yen. Thank you!

Renge (the Queen of Otakuland!) xx


	6. The Male Secret

**I'm running out of ways to describe the dark Music Room 3. So please excuse me as the description will now be pathetically short compared to the first chapter.**

**The boy's nickname is 'Puki-chan' which is this when spelt phonetically: "Poo-kee-chan". I thought it was cute and that Honey would quite like it too. Whilst "Rosy-Posy" is pronounced: "Rose-y-Pose-y".**

Kaoru's ears strained for a sound worth listening to. Some music, even a simple hum, was greatly needed. The oblivious giggling from the girls next door was as useless as silence. The breathing from their miniature world was too quiet. Honey's sobbing was not something to be enjoyed. The siren from outside was too close. Some other sound was needed.

Kaoru could almost feel Honey's heart break like a glass slipper. It shattered on to the club's floor like the male client's tea cup. Perhaps together they would make a pile of shattered fragments?

Kaoru kept an eye fixed on his brother. He made sure his every muscle and essence reflected Hikaru's. That very look of boredom but being perfectly posed. Every angle mimicked effortlessly. Child's play. Inside he estimated that his brother was actually annoyed but a little relieved. However there was no way of proving this until later. Later when the two would close their bedroom door after not speaking. Then Kaoru could only guess that his eyes would betray him whilst Hikaru scolded him for caring about everything too much.

Kaoru was hurt. He was. He was hurt at the lack of opportunity to host for a boy and how this opportunity was killed off swiftly. He also mourned for the very memory of that boy. The way the hosts argued due to him, the way he accidently caused chaos and how Kaoru would no longer have someone to watch.

Kaoru found himself sat in Music Room 3 once more. However there was a difference this time. He was not waiting for the other hosts to arrive. Hikaru was at home. It was just Kaoru.

His thoughts refused to settle, like excited puppies or a hyperactive child. But, unlike excited puppies, these thoughts were negative. He wondered what this new club would be like. Would they accept his membership? Would they accept his solo existence? To sit in the room alone felt awful. Like a form of betrayal. Like adultery. The peach walls suddenly looked pinker. Or were they pink the whole time? Never mind.

He half expected Tamaki to be sat in his corner. But there was no Tamaki and certainly no corner of sulking despair. Kaoru imagined Kyoya sat in the corner, adding up sums. Then Kaoru got bored of that and made his imaginary Kyoya do a handstand. Much better. Then he introduced his imaginary Kyoya to a ghost of Honey. Honey then started violently throwing his head back and forth to the tempo of a silent rock song. Kaoru then made a holographic Mori in a Jedi cosplay attack Haruhi, whom he had imagined would be in a bunny rabbit suit. Haruhi and the others faded away slowly as Kaoru's guilt was remembered by his brain.

He had lied.

None of the hosts knew he was sitting in their club room without them. They heard he was helping Renge with Euro Day. Renge said that to cover for him but he only wished that he could tell them the truth. He was forbidden from telling them the truth.

A boy and a girl entered the room, chatting.

"I reckon this week we should do a 'High School Musical Jump' photo."

"Ha! I saw that movie!"

Kaoru observed them, making his judgements. They seemed nice, perhaps he could ask them about joining?

This hope was smashed as the twosome took a step back when they saw the off-duty host.

"HIkaru!"

"I'm Kaoru."

"The Host Club has finished for the day…" The girl said aimlessly as the boy cowered behind her.

"I wanted to join the club."

The two stared at each other and then laughed.

"Our club?"

Kaoru nodded. The two grinned and nodded back.

"The one rule of this club is that it must be kept secret. The existence of this club and your membership must remain unknown."

"I understand."

The two members then proceeded to move the Host Club's furniture out into the room. They needed a lot less tables and chairs than the Host Club. They were polite enough not to glance at the curtained-off area. Now Kaoru realised why the hosts had to tidy up every day.

The club he had joined was famous throughout the school. It was known as "The Secret Club". It was even listed on the school's list under that name. No one knew where it met up or when. The purpose behind the club remained a mystery and the club members were unknown. That is why Tamaki suggested it to Kaoru. Apparently Honey found the club watching a movie when he was looking for Mori's hidden cake stash. Then Honey who told Tamaki who told Kaoru.

The twin knew that it was the perfect opportunity to branch out. He could make new friends whilst Hikaru remained blissfully unaware. He could practice talking to others and then pass these skills on to Hikaru when the time was right. The youngest twin tried to bluff himself into thinking he was doing this for his older brother when really his intentions were completely selfish. If Hikaru really did end up with Haruhi, Kaoru needed someone to fall back on. A group of friends to share his exiled days with. Someone who did not see him as "the other twin" but just plain Kaoru.

Naturally the other members were quite reluctant into letting the twin join. One of them asked if he really was in love with his brother whilst another asked him if the Host Club were secretly international spies. Kaoru just soaked it in and tolerated it until they began to trust him.

The Secret Club was alright. They watched movies some weeks, did bad impressions of other students the next, had a silent disco and even helped the cross-players make a fashion show.

Kaoru enjoyed it immensely. He savoured the time alone from Hikaru but felt guilty when he came home to find Hikaru taking up the whole bed, bored. Kaoru moved Hikaru's legs and sat down next to his brother.

"Hikaru, what are you thinking about?"

"How bored I am."

"Perhaps you should join a club?"

"Nope, I'll just stick with hosting for now."

Kaoru knew that Hikaru was uneasy with the Host Club. The Emergency Meeting had left the two of them a bit shook up. They knew there was something deeper going on behind the scenes. Something they had to witness if not participate.

Kaoru knew Hikaru thought their newest client was the catalyst to the sudden eruption of awkwardness. He was the very flame of a lighter to their fireworks. The very signature to their declaration of war.

However Kaoru only saw their client as the catalyst to the true nature of the club being revealed. He was the boring clothe which was used to wipe away the dirt from the window, to discover the world outside. He was the rope that pulled the curtain away to show the actors getting ready for their pantomime.

"I heard that Rosy-Posy got moved to 1B."

"I heard that too." Kaoru replied bluntly. The younger ginger did not care for gossiping over him. He was a boy; he existed; he was a client- that was all. If anything he was an opportunity. An opportunity to host for someone slightly different. Nothing more, nothing less.

Rosy-Posy, as Hikaru called him, was not much of a bother to Kaoru until one summer's day.

It was still the blistering heat of the sun before the rainy season came. It was like the sun wanted to work as hard as he possibly could before he was destined to disappear behind a rain cloud. A fuzzy, frowning rain cloud. The wind, knowing he was going to be working hard later, kissed nature goodbye for a little while and went on holiday. This left the humidity to settle on Ouran and its surroundings like a thick, sticky fog.

Kaoru had been at Secret Club. On that day they were watching an anime that Renge had suggested to them. This was not the best of her suggestions. Bright, over-used characters whirled about the screen, babbling nonsense and making Kaoru's brain ache. So he stared aimlessly out of the window, isolated by a sea of thoughts.

The amber haired host always thought something about the club was missing. Kaoru was not too sure whether it was the absence of Hikaru or just his imagination. He wanted a friend to whisper to but was unsure of how to start. It was only a matter of time before he made one but yet he could not help but feel impatient. Why couldn't they just automatically love him like Hikaru did?

Going back to Hikaru, Kaoru remembered that the rumour mill had churned out some new gossip for him on his loathed subject- the new guy. The latest piece of information was that his father was in the computer business. Not the greatest piece of gossip but it was something for Hikaru to sneer at.

Kaoru sighed and looked up at the burning sky, remembering his own predicament. He wondered about the new guy. He stood out from the other clients because he was a boy; he stood out from the boys because he was a client. There was nothing extraordinary about him. Maybe his peculiar accent or how the rumour mill was so low to pick up information on him? Maybe. But he was nothing special.

This weird battle between Renge and Kyoya had made the host club tense now as the cracks were beginning to become more obvious. Their setting up and tidying away times used to be the most fun- a lame excuse to hang out for longer. Now it was filled with whispers and polite planning for cosplay events.

Already the hosts were beginning to choose sides. Honey was with Renge, simply because he wanted 'Puki-chan', not because he genuinely liked Renge. The older twin had sided with Kyoya simply because 'Rosy-Posy' irritated him. Wisely Haruhi sat this one out whilst 'Boss' was forced to watch intently.

Kaoru was torn as to what to do. To back his brother was to kiss the idea of hosting for a boy goodbye, an idea that never came as often as Kaoru would have appreciated. To milk the opportunity, even to show the slightest sympathy, and join Honey was to ignite his brother's aggressive flames of anger. Well, Hikaru slapping and refusing to acknowledge his twin was Kaoru's idea of torture.

So he sat and observed with Tamaki and Haruhi. It was best to do nothing and gain one or the other by chance than to lose one through his actions.

But then Kaoru wondered about Mori.

Mori was infamous for being impossible to read. He never hinted at backing Kyoya, he never suggested at helping Honey and Renge. So was he watching with Haruhi and himself?

Then Kaoru's amber eyes lost their glaze as they snapped back into reality. The music room allowed the younger twin a view of the cherry path. Under the large, 'cursed' tree he saw Mori moving under the shadows. Kaoru moved further forward on his chair to see clearer. The tallest host was being surrounded by a group of six male students, only just visible thanks to their blue blazers. He kicked one but was unable to attack as fiercely as he wanted to. He was holding something in his arms.

Just as Kaoru was about to stand up and go help, he saw Honey leap out of a tree and effectively knock two out with a flying kick. That fight was so much better than the anime!

"Yeah, go Honey-senpai!" Kaoru whispered, his fist clenched with anticipation as he saw Honey punch another whilst Mori head butted another. This left two boys but one scarpered, his fear shown comically on his face. Just one more left!

Much to Kaoru's surprise, Renge jumped out of the next tree and squashed the unassuming student, leaving their path littered with unconscious males. Renge straightened out the creases in her dress whilst Honey beamed up at Mori. Mori was looking at whatever he was holding in his arms.

Not too sure what to make of what he just saw, Kaoru could not help but keep watching. They headed back to Ouran, the direction being the dojo. Mori was still in his kendo club gear, holding someone horribly familiar in his arms. Honey was bouncing alongside him, trying to make the bloodied student wake up. Renge sighed and looked around, her eyes narrowed to scan for witnesses. Then she looked up and stared straight at Kaoru. Consequently his head twisted away hurriedly, hoping she did not register that it was him.

That night Kaoru remained quiet as Hikaru analysed the new piece of gossip. He remained quiet during dinner and remained quiet during bed time. He was haunted. Why was their peculiar client being attacked now? Was Hikaru right? Was it too much to ask for a normal guest?

The next morning revealed Renge definitely did recognise him.

"It's our secret. No one must know about the fight. Not even Hikaru." She hissed in his ear when she sat behind him in class. He shuddered with the force of her voice. Renge was determined not to lose.

And that, Kaoru concluded miserably, was how he silently ended up on Renge's team. His silence and observance meant that Hikaru would never know about the club, his feelings or even his position but at least it meant Hikaru could continue living inside his little bubble.

But Kaoru knew he was right about one thing: _He stood out from the other clients because he was a boy; he stood out from the boys because he was a client._

Kaoru felt guilty for lying to his brother and keeping secrets from him. He wondered if perhaps he should tell Hikaru everything once they got home. After that he decided that it would be best not to. Kaoru needed space and secrets for that is what normal brothers are like. Besides, the past did not matter as much as the future.

So the younger ginger cat decided that he would smother his twin today to get rid of his guilt. He would be the best cat ever just for Hikaru. He will come up with the best lines and help with the pranks with lots of enthusiasm.

Kaoru may never have the opportunity to host for a male again, which was disappointing, but that was nothing. The main thing that mattered was that the two twins were content with each other.

The reign of terror had lessened but Kaoru realised now that Kyoya must have won, Renge had surrendered. But he did not understand why- she was so close to winning.

_Sometimes the greatest surprise of all is how life unfolds in front of you._

**Ack. Yeah. I basically swapped three chapters around and this is what poor Kaoru ended up with. Pffft. Anyway, yeah. Sorry.**


End file.
